A mother's job
by BabyRie16
Summary: The Avengers tower got destroyed again, so they have to stay with Mama Rhodey while it gets rebuilt and mayhem ensues. I'm using the movie version this time as opposed to the show. There will also be several OCs present. Special thanks to Billby13. Adult babies and spanking. Enjoy! PS SOME AVENGERS 2 SPOILERS! You were warned.
1. Chapter 1

Bruised and battered the gang panted in the rubble of what was the Avenger's tower. Yet another battle on their home front it seems.

"Y'know," Tony began, leading the whole group to groan in unison and Steve even to say 'don't start', "I'm just saying it's a recurring theme I'm seeing here."

Nat caressed the Hulk's arm, making him fall over, "Well I'm seeing us temporarily homeless. Gonna do something about that, Stark?"

The battered suit turned it's head towards her, "Excuse me? What am I going to do about it? You don't know any good hotels?"

x

Tony sighed as they pulled up to a little suburban style city. He knew one place they could at least relax a while and get a free meal at.

It took nearly an hour for the rest of the gang to meet him where he'd designated. Well, he was there within a matter of minutes, they needed a longer time. Thor not know how Earth works and the others not being able to fly. Tony smirked, flight was awesome.

The house they met at was a relatively nice sized, two level home of grey bricks and white roof. Considering how different it was from the rest of the house it clearly had work done to it, built from the ground up. All that said it was to be expected that even the yard was well manicured.

"Alright, where are we?" Nat, once again, was the first to speak as the group pulled up.

Tony was sipping some cold bottled water as they began congregating around, "We're at mama's place."

Steve looked at the home, "This is a nice house. New?"

"Yep, I just bought it as an 'I love you and you need more room' gift," Stark smiled to himself as he put his finger on a certain stone to have the print scanned.

"Your mom's house?" Nat raised a brow, "Did you really decide to bring us to mom's place?"

Thor scoffed, a little embarrassed at Tony, "What sort of man runs to his mother for aid?"

The tone in his voice just wasn't agreeing with the genius. Tony turned and raised a brow at the godling, "I'm sorry, do you have a mother you can go to?" he noted the change in expression, "Do any of you?" he put a hand to his ear as the group became interested in the scenery, "I thought not, so don't attempt to judge me for the love and safety I receive from mine."

That cut them all deep to hear such a thing spoken. Especially Thor as it had not been long since his mother being slain.

"That was uncalled for," Steve sighed.

"It totally was called for! Trying to tease me like that. The truth hurts," he stepped inside the house expecting them to follow, "Take your shoes off."

x

The gang examined the decorations as they settled in, removing their coats and shoes at the door.

It was just as huge on the inside, if not more so, than it looked on the outside. High ceilings and everything in a certain level of order. They entered at the back of the stairs to the second level and just looked around as they walked in.

"Well I'll say one thing about your mommy," Clint looked around, "You sure do care a great deal about her."

Tony glanced back, "Her?" he snickered and walked to the kitchen, "Water?"

Natalia inspected the decorations and furniture, taking her water bottle and walking past a fish tank with few male and female fancy guppies and panda cory. It even had two beautiful Red female Veiltail Betta. Very calm and soothing. She continued on as the group sat to discuss what just happen.

She came into the livingroom and her eyes fell on a photo frame. She picked up the tan, heart covered picture holder and looked at the photo. It was a picture of Tony with an arm around his friend Rhodes' shoulder looking all buddy buddy as guys tended to. Nothing out of the normal there, even made her shake her head and smile, until she read the frame.

'Mama, you're the greatest. Love Tony.' she read in her mind before turning towards the kitchen, "Tony, whose your mom?"

"Rhodey."

"Yeah?" the Colonel walked down the stairs just as he was called, "Oh you're all here. Good."

The group kinda gawked to the man when he entered. All of them, with the exception of Steve, were a little disturbed to hear that.

The archer stared at the genius, "Wait, he's the 'mama' you keep referring to?"

Tony nodded slowly, "Yeah? I thought you guys already knew that."

"How would we know that unless you told us?" Nat gave him a weird look.

"Well you seem to know a lot about me before we even got eachother's names," he smiled to her, getting an eye roll.

"Please put that down," Rhodes motioned to the photo frame in her hand, "Does he actually hide that?"

"No," Steve scoffed, "They probably just don't pay that much attention."

"But...you are a man," Thor looked to Rhodes, "How..." he paused and thought, his brother has given birth to an eight legged horse so perhaps this wasn't so odd. Rhodes youthful appearance actually meant very little to him, plenty in Asgaurd had children young.

As the group was trying to come to terms with the fact that Tony called his best friend 'mama' a woman with red hair stepped from the bathroom, wiping her damp neck.

"Thanks for letting me use your shower James," she smiled and pat his back, she started to leave until she noticed the goateed man, "Oh hey Tony. I love how you constantly change your hair, last time I saw you it was a beard." he happily squeezed his chin before skipping out.

The group's attention all turned to Rhodes with wide eyes as he smiled and walked her to the door and waved her goodbye.

He turned back and saw their amazed faces, "What?"


	2. Chapter 2

"You guys need to clean up," the house mother commented, "There is a full bathroom down here and upstairs, I'll see what clothes I have," he walked up the stairs to gather things.

Clint snickered, "Well then. So I assume we're staying here until we can recoup and come up with another plan. IE you rebuilding the tower," he looked to Tony.

"The bank is just loving me," he sighed and checked the fridge, "Ok, Cap, what's the plan?"

"Well," Steve started, leaning into the soft kitchen chair, "This isn't something that needs us right away, so we can just deal with living with Rhodes for the time being. If he'll have us, which I assume he will."

Tony raised a brow, "Excuse me? You guys are just resting here, I'm staying. You all can get a hotel."

"Or you can stop being so possessive," Rhodes walked down with a basket in his one hand and some clothes in the other one, "Alright, I have a few articles of clothes you all can borrow," he looked to Nat, "I have some smaller clothes that might fit you."

"Thanks," she shrugged and took the clothes, "Where can I wash up?"

"There is a full bathroom down here and two upstairs. I can give you guys a quick tour if you want. It's a new place. Tony clearly doesn't need a tour," he set the basket down.

"I'd like a tour," Steve nodded, "See where I'm sleeping."

"Ok, but this is a three bedroom house and my room is off limits. So you guys are gonna have to double up," he started to the stairs, "There's also a pull out couch."

The tour was quick. It was clearly a pattern going on with the neutral and calming color scheme in the house. Pale greens, tans, beige, and other such, a few splashes of peach. Everything was meticulously placed, after all James was a military man.

x

With all of them knowing the layout they had the chance to clean up and change clothes all while Rhodes talked with Tony.

"I'm assuming you guys will be here at least a month," he checked the temperature of the food.

"Why do they have to stay?" the genius huffed as he watched his mom work, "I'll get them good hotels."

Rhodey smiled to himself at how possessive Tony was, "Still as clingy as ever. Tell your friends dinner is ready, mama's boy."

He grumbled and went to go find the others in the group.

x

"You have to admit it is kinda weird," Clint looked to Bruce who merely shrugged.

"I've seen weird, this isn't even in the top 20 probably," he told him.

Clint turned to the soldier, "Steve? You're from the Mesozoic era. Nothing?"

"Well at first it was weird, and this is probably why he didn't say anything to all of you because you blow it out of proportion. Same with the incontinence," he shrugged, "But I wonder who you all thought I was referring to when I asked him about his mom."

They just kinda shrugged. It was odd, yeah, as Tony's maternal mom had long since died, but they really had no idea. Thor wasn't all that aware of Tony's family to start with.

The man of the hour peeked into the room the group had been congregating in, "Come eat dinner."

x

Eating a meal together in quiet brought them all to the whole Swarma post-Loki event. It was rather quiet at first but the ice was broken by Thor.

"This meal, it's delicious. What is it?" the godling asked between bites.

James swallowed a chewed radish before answering, " Roast chicken, spring vegetables, and dinner rolls."

"Exquisite," he dove back into the meal.

"Thank you," he smiled and continued to eat.

"It is good, thanks for the meal," Tony felt a need to say something.

Mama smirked to himself, "Thank you, Tony." He was so translucent in his attention seeking.

Clint smirked, "Saw your stash." he teased Tony.

Hearing that sent a cold sweat down the genius' neck. What had he found exactly? "Was it that badly hidden?" he asked smoothly.

"Five boxes of pampers? And how many different designs, three?" he gently teased, "I don't even think I had that many boxes on call when any of my kids were born."

James scoffed, "You didn't have to wait for it to ship, you could just go to the store. And those are just disposable. You clearly haven't seen the cloth ones yet."

"Well comfort is important," Tony pointed a fork to him, relieved that's all the archer was speaking on finding.

Nat smirked, "I bet Steve loves those. He can go back to his time and just put a safety pin on it for you."

"I'll thank you for being concerned with me," Steve teased her back.

x

The meal time went rather well. Food was great. Rhodes was proud of himself for making almost three times as much. Figured these guys would mostly want seconds. Happily enough for everyone they all ended up satisfied.

"I guess we're together," Nat gave a subtle smile to Bruce.

Rhodey noticed it, "Warning, if you have sex in my house you will be taking the sheets, blankets, and pillow cases. And you will be paying me."

Thor looked to the couch, "How does this contraption work?" Steve just pulled the weird drawers out for him.

x

Tony watched his mother as he washed the dishes, "Do you have to do that now?"

"I do enjoy going to bed knowing things are clean," he nodded, "Why don't you go to my room and wait for me?"

"I'd rather wait for you right here if you don't mind."

There was no point arguing over it. There was, after all, a reason he made something easy to clean, "Alright, darling, I'm almost done and we can go to bed."


	3. Chapter 3

Bruce looked to the ceiling of the guest room. He could smell the food cooking from the first floor and it smelled grand. He stretched out, nearly elbowing his redheaded bed mate.

"How'd you sleep?" She felt his movements in the bed.

"The bed was comfy to say the least," he nodded and stepped out of bed, pulling one of the loaner shirts Rhodes had given him on. He watched as the redhead stood from the bed, the blanket falling off her petite frame. He quickly scurried out of the room and into the bathroom.

After some business being taken care of he slowly stepped down the stairs to the first floor. The aroma was so much more stimulating up close.

"From that day on, I made a vow, I'll be there when you want me. Some way, somehow!" Rhodes was dancing around the kitchen in his apron as he sang the 1960's classic.

Tony just smiled and nodded his head, humming to the beat as he was serenaded. The glee on his face was just precious.

By the end of the song there were two sets of applause in the kitchen. Both men turned to see Bruce giving Rhodes a round of applause.

"Very beautiful. I feel like I should've paid for that," he smiled, "Need any help?" He pointed to the table.

"If you could wake the others for breakfast that would be great," the mother set the food up on the counter, that way they could just fix their own plates. Like a buffet.

X

Soon the group was down and feasting on the breakfast before them. Mostly pancakes, sausage and biscuits. Just a little something he had enough of to feed a small army.

"Your culinary expertise is quite becoming. Especially for a mother," the godling approved, "An important trait for someone who has no servant."

"You should try Sam's breakfast crepes," he cleaned the dishes as the group ate.

Tony looked at his food and then again to James, "You planning on eating or trying to keep your figure?"

"I'm planning on eating, I like to clean as I go along so I don't just wind up with a pile at the end of the day."

That far from pleased Tony. He merely played with his food.

"We appreciate you housing us," Steve told the military man, "We'll try to be out of your hair as quickly as possible."

He shrugged, "I understand. One reason why I live so modestly, not to draw too much attention to myself," he took his plate and leaned against the counter to eat, "Keeping a low profile means you get to live in some level of security."

"Boring," Tony finally began to eat when he saw his mother doing the same.

"Sometimes," Bruce nodded. He knew about trying to be low profile. It could be a bit boring, monotonous, and lonely.

Mama noticed the subtle sadness in his voice and swallowed, "I'm assuming all clothes and things of the like are at the rubble that was once the Avenger's tower," by their nods and sighs it was confirmed, "Ok, and in just two meals you've eaten most of my on home food product."

"Sorry, some of us take a little more to get full," Steve commented.

"I've fed you before, I figured the Godling would need more food," he replied, "But all that aside, I need to go buy food and you people need more clothes. So I guess we're taking the two cars and going to the store."

"You drive the Equinox," Tony told him, "I'll take the the Focus. At least that's a little more cool. And I'll take the other cool person," he pointed his fork to Bruce.

"You can take more than one person in it," he told him, "Take Thor with you or something."

Tony whined, "Do I have to?"

"I don't recall asking anything," he gathered the plates and such, while Steve merely washed his own.

x

Bruce was rather happy that Tony's mom had been adamant that he stick to no more than five miles above speed limit. Tony, of course, hated it, but Bruce wasn't quite in the mood for an adrenaline rush.

"How did you and Spider enjoy the guest room?" Tony started as he hit the highway. They were going to the good super store, "No need for us to obliterate it, is there?"

The scientist chuckled, "We slept very comfortably. Nothing but talk and sleep. Enjoy your mom's bed?"

He shrugged, "Yeah, it's always nice," he smiled and continued on the drive.

"My sleep on the transforming bed was quite pleasurable," Thor smiled proudly from the backseat, "And I didn't have to share with anyone. The son of Odin was able to comfortably shift about and stretch."

"And sleep with your junk on display," Tony shuddered, remembering walking down the stairs this morning to the demigod hanging out as he strolled to the restroom.

x

"So," Clint smiled in the backseat, "Big question for you."

The driver rolled his eyes, "Wild guess: why does Tony call me 'mama'?"

"You have all his supplies at your house, as well as a permanent room for him, and cook his meals," the archer scoffed, "It's kind of obvious why he calls you that."

Nat and Steve both smirked at that comment.

"Ok, smart Alec," he smiled, "What's your question?"

"How do you change baby boy in public?"

"Bathrooms mostly," he rolled his eyes.

x

The group met at the store, "Ok, I've got some assigned areas for everyone," Rhodey took several pieces of paper and handed them out, "Steve, cleaning products. Nat, Hygiene products and hair stuff. Bruce, food items with me."

Clint looked up, "What about me?"

Rhodes looked to him, " You get to babysit Thor and shop for these miscellaneous items."

Clint checked the list, "Why do I have to babysit Thor?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Who are these Bounties and Scott we search of?" Thor looked about, "Allies or foes? and how shall we recognize them?"

Clint pinched the bridge of his nose with a deep sigh. This was punishment for something, he was sure of it.

"Archer post haste! There is an entire hall dedicated to spirits and ales!" Thor hurried over.

He shook his head. Definitely a punishment, "Booze isn't on our list!"

X

Steve grabbed a few shirts his size and set them in the basket along with some pants and other clothing articles. True, like Tony, Rhodes had some of his clothes there in case of emergency, but none for more than a few days.

He shook his head, "this stuff is so pricey."

Bruce nodded and threw some clothes in his own basket, "Yeah its gone up in these past decades. Who knows how huge a jump from your time."

"A new car was $800 and gas was 18 cents a gallon," he looked to him, "And paying that felt like highway robbery. This just makes my heart stop a little more each price check."

The scientist raised his brows and turned back to check the price on his pants, "If they had prices like that still there would be anarchy. "

x

Tony smirked as he examined the store, "They've added more stock." he looked to the pyjamas, "This is very breathable."

James glanced up from his phone and rolled his eyes, "Throw it in, but don't think you're going to be getting a ton of clothes. You have plenty of stuff at my place already, it's them who need clothes currently, not you."

"But I don't have this outfit," he tossed a few things in. He didn't always buy four hundred dollar everything. Occasionally, whenever shopping with mama, he bought non rich people items.

"Thats enough," James pulled him away from the rack and continued walking, "I think we should check the others and make sure they got the things I asked for."

"They're perfectly ok," he waved a hand, "What else are we getting? We can see them at the front. Do they have any good movies out? Or good entertainment items?"

"I'm sure they do." he quickly followed after his son so he didn't get too far ahead of him.

x

they all met back up at the front within twenty minutes they all met back at the registers. Judging by the fullness of the carts Rhodes assumed they'd gotten everything he'd asked for.

"Alright. Now time for some real patience," he lead the parade to the registers.

Proving that he really was a mom Rhodes had coupons for 90% of the items they were purchasing. And because he was quite frugal and shrewd he had made sure to go shopping on a day that was double coupon day. Sure he hadn't expected to be Avengers sitting, but that was ok.

Thor watched as all their items were bagged and looked about, "Where is Tony at?" He didn't see him next to Rhodes as he normally had been.

"I'm right here," a muffled voice said, causing the ones who heard it to look to Mom's basket then to mom. Tony was buried under who knows how many items in Rhodes' cart.

"What? I get tired of chasing him." Mama shrugged, handing the woman all his coupons.

By the end of the transaction he'd saved over a thousand dollars, which was great. Now the challenge was getting all this in two cars.

x

Clint sighed, relaxing into the couch, "I don't think I've ever had such a tiring trip to the store. But between explaining things to the Demigod and finding half those obscure items that was legitimate exercise."

"At least you didn't faint while seeing the total," Steve was still fanning himself.

"Not sure why you were so worried when you knew you weren't paying for it," Nat sat on Clint's stomach so she could relax too.

Rhodey just shook his head listening to all them whine as he went through and labeled things and boxes. This way they knew what was theirs. After labeling the toothbrushes, and assorting the other hygienic items into little drawer organizers. He didn't have the actual unit they were suppose to be drawers for but that didn't mean anything.

"Ok, I want to show you all where your items will be, so grab a basket with your name on it and follow me," he told them all.

X

They had been instructed to put their baskets on the shelves until they actually needed to use them. No point in cluttering his counters. Asides that he reminded them toss dirty clothes into the hamper and where the towels were. With that they were free to go back to relaxing while he did some cleaning.

"Bit of a neat freak," Clint commented. That was his second time cleaning in 24 hours.

"He is military," Steve reminded the Archer, "he does have training. "

He smiled to himself. Perhaps he could help out with some organization.

X

The rest of the day into the night was rather uneventful. Just some talking here and there along with the always appreciated meal.

James was the first to wake up, plenty to do, starting with putting Tony in a fresh diaper. Seeing how Tony was sleeping with him, and mama hated waking up saturated in urine, he'd put a disposable on.

It was so cute with the little pastel green and purple designs. However since he was pretty sure Tony would be home he figured cloth good for his brat. And he just found the cutest mathematical equation diaper cover!

After a task that was so second nature he didn't even wake his baby boy Rhodes set off to go make some breakfast.

"Nothing like fruit salads and pre-made french toast," he spoke in a yawn as he started towards the stairs.

An abrupt stop and glance and there was a label that read 'rail'. Then another reading 'stairs', 'door', 'wall'. Everything had a label on it.

"No," Mama shook his head, "No. Jarvis are you awake? I know Tony brought you."

"Yes, Mr Rhodes?" The AI responded.

"Thats going on with my house?"

"Seems Mr. Barton couldn't sleep last night and wanted to help organize."

The man scoffed, "Someone's seen too much Ed, Edd, and Eddy. I sure hope he labeled the spoon and corner because he's about to get a pop quiz on his vocabulary. "


	5. Chapter 5

The group snickered at Clint. Took him forever to get all those labels off of everything. And to add insult to injury Rhodes made him sit on the stairs in timeout after he was done.

"Can I get up yet?" he laughed a little to disburse his embarrassment, "It was just a little joke."

"You keep talking and you'll be there longer," Rhodes made several sandwiches, "Jokes are suppose to be funny. Using up my ink and paper as well as batteries for that wasn't as funny as you probably expected."

Bruce smiled as he read the paper, "He certainly does play his role well."

Tony grinned some, "Yeah, he's a great mama. That's why I love him so much."

Rhodes beamed some. It was always nice to be wanted and needed, "I love you too, dearest."

"Aww, dearest," Nat pinched Tony's cheek, "Mama's little man."

"No, he's mama's Ironbabe, get it right, Ladybug," Rhodes wagged a finger at her.

"Ladybug?" she raised a brow at the pet name.

The whole group gave an aww to that nickname, cooing at Tony and Nat as they gave a simper smile. Tony pushed all the hands away and went back to relaxing.

"Alright, mind yourselves," Rhodes told them, "I have to go to a meeting, I'll be back later," going to gather his jacket, "I made sandwiches, and you can have a few snacks. I just went to the store and if I come back and all this crap is gone you guys are going to be eating at a soup kitchen," he warned.

"What's the meeting for?" Tony glanced over.

"Swimsuits and stuff," he shrugged, "Steve you're in charge." That was the last word he said before leaving.

Nat looked to the door and smiled, pinching Tony's cheeks again, "So cute."

He knocked her hand away with a scoff, going back to his handheld game.

Clint smirked as he walked over, "Mama's boy."

"No need to be jealous," he smirked.

"Be there anything of entertainment we can do?" As much as Thor enjoyed the picture box it served little to keep him as active as he would like.

Steve agreed to being a bit bored himself, never having been an advent tv watcher, "maybe a game of softball?"

"Count me in," Clint nodded, "Where is the equipment?"

X

Took a trip out to the shed but Rhodes had plenty of outside entertainment. From whiffle balls to tennis, basketball and baseball he was well equipped.

"I think it might be a little easier if, instead of softball, we played dodgeball," Clint smiled and raised a ball.

"That might end tragically," Bruce looked to the archer.

"Could always play a game of it," Tony smirked.

"For it to be fair you'd need your suit and Bruce would have to go Hulk."

The group was left rubbing their chins at at what they could do.

X

James smiled as he returned home. Sounded like his brood was outside. "Great, fresh air and I can clean up a little," he thought aloud whilst putting his bags away.

Nothing like a thorough vacuuming, sweeping and dusting to relax a man. The man smiled and reclined into the couch to watch his shows.

About 12 minutes into Guy's Big Bite there was a clamoring at the kitchen door, also known as the back door.

"I can see your bottom, Tony," Nat teased as she wrung her hair out.

"Take a picture," he held the top of his soaked pants up. Note to self, non swim diapers swell when wet.

James watched as the group, all dripping wet, stepped into the house. All his cleaning wiped away in two seconds.

Thor glanced over and waved, "Mother of Stark, we have enjoyed a fight with water outside. Your toys proved most entertaining!"

He nodded, "I'm happy to hear that. I think you guys need to dry off so we can all have a nice heart to heart."

X

Bruce read over the paper, "Bathrooms and floors?" He cringed slightly. Not his favorite task, "You sure thought this through," he looked at the lamentation.

"Why do I have three chores?" Clint complained, "Neither Tony nor Thor have one."

"Mind your own business," the genius scoffed.

Rhodes gave him an eye roll, "Fine, Tony has Mirrors."

That pleased the archer a little, despite Tony's glower, "What about Thor?"

"What about you stop whining?" Steve reprimanded. He had yard work so truth be told he had a little more than others. But James knew he rather enjoyed it so it was far less of a chore for him.

Natalia turned to the house mom, "Do dishes have to be done daily?"

"All of these have to be done daily on some small scale. Except yard work," he told them.

That had faces being made but it's not as if they couldn't have figured it out. They'd been there almost four days and not even seen a speck of dust.

"We are living in your dwelling so it's only fair we pull our weight," Bruce commented. It was only right to be civil about it.


	6. Chapter 6

A full week without trouble. Chores done in timely and orderly fashions, no complaints, which was very pleasing. Rhodey smiled to himself as he skimmed his cookbook to decide what he'd make the kids for dinner.

"What you doing?" Tony asked from behind the Colonel's book.

He reached and rubbed his hair back, "I am figuring what we will have for dinner. Which sounds better: baked rigatoni or pulled pork?"

"I think we should go out to dinner," he said simply.

As the mother prepared to disagree there was suddenly attacked by several of the others.

"You tend to overwork yourself," Steve told him from the fridge.

"You're suppose to be on my side," he gave him a glance, "ok, what are we doing for dinner then?"

"Name the place and we'll go," Tony smirked.

X

Within the hour they were all properly dressed and out to a nice little sit down restaurant. Nothing fancy. Had great party wings, outstanding loaded fries and pretty good drinks.

After ordering the group laughed amongst themselves. Light teasing on the mom nickname, mere joking about. It was a fun time until a man glanced over.

He sneered and walked towards the table, "Well looky here. The Avengers. Earth's mightiest. Or most destructive." The strong aroma of alcohol filled the air every time he exhaled let alone spoke.

"We're trying to enjoy some downtime if you don't mind," Steve told him.

"Captain Blond," he smirked, "As army man myself I want to respect you, but hooking up with these..." he looked to the rest, "rejects."

Rhodes stood from his seat. He would not sit by while someone insulted his kids, "Why don't you go back to your 'friends' and drink the rest of your pitiful life away."

He looked to the man in disbelief, "Oh I know you, your Stark's owner, aren't you?"

"I prefer the term mother," he glared through the drunk's half glazed eyes.

He laughed and pointed to the table of dirty looks, "Are you all their mommy?"

"Yeah and I'll be anyone else's who think they're gonna talk down on someone because they think being in the military demands respect," he looked him up and down.

He raised a brow, "You saying it doesn't?"

"A jerk is a jerk. You're just one in a green shirt," he narrowed his eyes.

The bar was silent, watching the two men have a stare down.

The drunk eventually smirked, feeling the intimidating air of the Colonel. He turned towards his friends, "Better leave mama lion and her brood of freaks alone."

He barely finished that sentence before a fist crashed into his upper jaw. There was a snap and he was out cold on the wood floor of the restaurant.

The Avengers looked at the man in shock, as the drunkard's group of friends.

"Anyone else got something to say?" Rhodes looked about. Snickers and looks of approval turned back to their tables as the drunks asked for the bill.

Mama sat back at his seat and smiled, "I do feel better that you guys made me come out to eat."

There was an unspoken sense of gratification within the group after Rhodey's display. He wasn't an Avenger so he wasn't defending himself, it was different. They, if for a mere moment, felt like they really were his children. Children he would protect and defend. The feelings of satisfaction to that were intangible.

X

Rhodes walked about flossing his teeth, "I am stuffed." He told the group, "Now would be a great time for a nap."

"Yes, the son of Odin can go for a short slumber," Thor shooed them off of his convertible couch bed.

"Is that a non subtle hint to all of us?" Natalia asked.

"It certainly was," he smiled to her, "But whether you take one or not is your business, I'm going to," he shrugged and tossed the floss before taking his steps to his room.

X

Thor tossed and turned on his bed. Steve was outside mowing the lawn, which was disruption enough but for some reason he couldn't get comfy.

"What plagues the son of Odin and causes this lack of rest?" The blond sat up and rubbed his chest over the blanket, feeling something. He reached under and peeled an item from his abs. It had him tilting his head in confusion , "What manner of object is this?"

X

Bruce and Tony were inspecting some microbes under a microscope in Steve's room.

"It's multiplying very rapidly," he noted as he inspected, "Tony."

"Yeah?" He twiddled a pen in his fingers, "I have to get back to my lab. More space."

"True," he nodded and began to speak again before Tony cut him off.

"I'm getting some snacks from the kitchen." He quickly left out.

Bruce merely watched him go before turning attention back to the microscope. In seconds the door opened, "Find your treats?"

Thor entered and looked to the man, "Treats shall be partaken of momentarily," he waltzed over, "You are a man of knowledge vast here in Midgard."

Bruce nodded slowly, wanting to know where this was going.

Thor handed the item over, "I found this item nestled in my abdomen. Of what origin is it?"

Bruce took the plastic and silicon thing, "It's a pacifier. What babies suck on to keep calm."

"Ah, I thank you. Others failed to answer my question."

"Who did you ask?"

"The two of Fury's. The family man seemed to smile at it and comment a girl infant item. The redhead agreed."

"Judging by the color I agree," he handed it back.

X

The pair smirked at Tony. It made him feel uncomfortable, he could tell those smiles carried ulterior motives. Steve had just come in from outside and was sipping some tea Rhodey made.

"You two want something?"

"Thor found your mouthpiece," Nat smiled, "cute little elephant and all."

Tony snickered and began to address the empty taunt when Steve looked down to him.

"Did you lose another pacifier?" He shook his head, "I told you to start clipping them to your belt loop so they wouldn't fall out."

Tony's wide eye look and arm gesture in itself probably hinted to Steve he had said something wrong.

The pair began laughing at the idea. Of course they had just been teasing and didn't believe it really was his. But since Steve hadn't been in on the joke he couldn't have known what they were talking about.

James was walking down the stairs when he heard the laughter, "something funny?" He saw Tony's glare and looked to the soldier, "Something not funny?"

"They found one of Tony's pacifiers?" Steve shrugged.

"This?" Rhodes held up the pacifier elephant plushy combo, "This is Jenie's. A two year old I babysit from time to time."

Steve bit the inside of his lip and shrugged at Tony, who glared at him.

 **Expect 3 chapters per week, my dears. That way I wont run out so soon. See you next week!**


	7. Chapter 7

Tony had retreated to his mom's basement to do some alterations on the War Machine suit. That was the excuse he gave them, he just wanted to hide. Thanks to Steve's blabber mouth the gang was now teasing him on his pacifier. He could use a little break.

X

"Where'd Tony go?" Steve looked about, "I need him to look at the mower."

The redhead shrugged, "Maybe he's napping. Noon is when most babies lay down."

The comment had only left her mouth a mere 47 seconds, Steve couldn't even give her a chiding glance before she felt a solid sting across her back end. She gasped and let out an 'ow' before glaring at Rhodes.

"The hell was that for?" She gripped the cheek in her palm.

James looked to his fly swatter and back at her, "Just testing if it works on little pest as well as big." Her look changed from mild irritation to confusion, "You may think what you're saying is harmless but it isnt. "

"What? Suggesting that he's having a nap?"

"The way you suggested it wasn't so simple, it was subtly more malicious," he peered her down, "You probably didn't notice. Probably because Tony laughed it off and joked back. You must have lost some of your perceptive skills."

Nat shook her head and waved it off, "He's just fine, like always. Only upset because Steve told his secret."

"Honey," he told her, "why do you think it was a secret to start with? You may have investigated him and be his friend, but I know him. And I know you'll be out on your ears you keep it up."

He grabbed his bag and started to leave, "I'm stepping out, you had better do some apologizing and I'd better not hear of anyone," James looked to the ones present, "teasing anyone again."

Nat watched as the man left. She huffed quietly. Had she let her perceptive powers relax? She groaned feeling guilty, and was soon joined in her guilt trip by the others. Steve felt it for speaking before thinking, something he often scolded others for that exact things.

X

Bruce was out on the porch, relaxing in the bench swing. He saw the house mother begin to pull out of the garage, "Going some where?"

"Stepping to the store, want to join?" He offered.

The scientist nodded and hopped in, "You don't look too happy."

"I'm not, your little girlfriend and Co apparently are blind to the fact they're hurting Tony's feeling."

"Is this about the pacifier again?" Bruce personally thought nothing of it. Everyone had their own thing. He, being a doctor, knew people who used all types of things to keep themselves busy after quitting certain habitual behaviors.

"Sometimes friends can say ruder, meaner things than enemies. And they get away with it because sometimes people just play along," he shrugged, "They don't mean to but they feel being friends means there are no boundaries."

"I can't say I disagree," he knew Tony could really push boundaries, as could all of them in actuality, "But you explained that, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Pretty sure they got the message," he nodded.

A change of subject seemed appropriate, "What are we going to the store for?"

"I think I'm going to get some things for Tony," he smiled.

X

Bruce followed the man down the infant care aisle at Walmart. He occasionally glanced in the cart at the things James tossed in.

Bottles, pacifiers, clips for said pacifiers, "Getting in the motherly spirit?"

"I see it this way: the group knows now, not that Steve didn't already. So that means he can finally relax around my house, outside of my bedroom."

Bruce nodded, "That's good. Getting anything else?"

"Something for the rest of the group."

"Hm?"

"You're all so translucent," he laughed to himself.


	8. Chapter 8

Tony inspected the cannon on the black suit. A minor adjustment and it would use even less energy to blast. A few alterations and the suit would be more power efficient and 50% more powerful.

Nat stood at the stairs, "You have a lab everywhere, don't you?"

"You're not allowed in here, licensed people only," he waved her off.

She walked over, hands on her inner elbows, "I just wanted to apologize if I hurt your feelings."

Tony paused and glanced over at her, "Really?"

"Yeah, didn't think what I had to say would actually bother you like that."

He scoffed lightly, "And let me guess, you're just going to admit you're jealous and wish you had a mom of your own like a PSA from Steve's time?"

"Shouldn't I be?" She stepped over and looked at his work, "I didn't exactly have the best rearing. The closest thing I've had to a loving parent is Fury." A smile graced her face. He was a great one.

"Thats quite a tear jerking thing to hear," he went back to fiddling as she turned to leave. Just as she touched the doorknob he commented, "forgiven."

X

"I'm home children," Rhodes called out, "And I come baring gifts." He set the the bags in the kitchen. That's where he would be doing most sorting.

"What did mama lion bring?" Clint peered over at all the bags he and Bruce brought in, "Didn't know you needed more groceries."

"Just a few of these are groceries." He took a large bag and brought it in the livingroom, also known as Thor's room.

He had bought several large coloring books, to accompany them he also had crayons, markers, and pencils. He only had so many currently and figured it best to stock up. He'd also gotten other silly things: dinosaurs, animals, toy transportation things.

"What's all that for?" Steve knew a certain someone loved toys, but was sure he had plenty.

"I donated a bunch of them so I had to stock up," he went in the closet and opened the trunk, pouring in a rainbow of toys. All colors, sizes, and kinds.

When it was full he wordlessly walked to the basement to talk with Tony for about twenty minutes.

X

James returned to the first floor as the majority of the group inspected the toys, "Feel free to play with them,that's what they're for," he spoke before putting the coloring books and utensils on the closet shelves.

It took him all of fifteen minutes to get everything put away before he called Thor to himself, leaving the others to talk amongst themselves.

"Steve," Nat called, "What is all this?"

Clint looked to a train set, "Does he run a daycare part time?"

The soldier shrugged, "Tony's I guess." He wasn't sure if he should even admit it as Tony still hadn't spoken to him since the pacifier incident.

The two spies just looked to each other and said nothing, only sharing a shrug and nod.

X

"Working hard?" Bruce asked, stepping down, "or working smart?"

"Little of both," he pulled his mask up, "Have a good trip?"

"Learned a lot," he nodded, "Did mom tell you he got you some new toy?"

"Yep," he twisted a bolt into place, "Dinner ready?"

"He's busy washing Thor's hair with an utterly elated look," the scientist chuckled, "Told me he'd shave his head if it didn't get combed."

Tony snickered, "Yeah, he's big on presentation. He stopped letting me dress myself for a week when he caught me in one outfit he dubbed my 'fashionable leprechaun'."

Bruce smirked, "I can imagine that."

X

Thor leaned into James' capable hands as he combed and brushed his hair.

"Your talents are indeed many," the godling commented as he felt his hair braided back into a single braid.

"You live and learn," he sighed, standing up, "Alright, tv off," he took the remote and powered the device down, hearing several groans as they were watching something, "I have an assignment for you lot."

"I did my chores," Clint was quick to say.

"Proud of you. Doesn't change the assignment," he grabbed the phone and looked about. They were all dressed in day clothes, they had to be ready at anytime for anything, "Why don't you all put your pyjamas on and meet me back in here?"

The group looked amongst themselves and silently began shuffling out. Mama relayed the message down the stairs to the scientist as well. After around 15 minutes everyone was back in the living room, all in their respective pjs, mostly t-shirts and pants, Nat and Thor had on tank tops and shorts as they both enjoyed wearing as little as possible to bed.

"Very good," the man clapped, "Now I want each of you to take a coloring book and you'll have to share the crayons and such."

Tony hardly hesitated to sit cross-legged and grabbed a sea life coloring book.

"All of us?" Thor asked as he grabbed one with farm animals in it.

"All of you," he nodded, covering a yawn as he walked off.

Some found it a bit odd but went along. Nat got a precious moments coloring book, Clint got another farm one, Steve went a predictable route and got a sports one, Bruce managed to get one full of teddy bears. Soon they joined Tony in scribbling in the books, the smell of crayons and scented markers filling the area.

"I'm going to get us some food guys," Rhodes called, "Chinese or pizza?"

Hardly anyone answered as they were all quite into their art. The man smiled and just poured them all some juice in cups and set them down next to each of them.

X

Clint paused from his drawing, looking it over before reaching for his cup and taking a large gulp. He locked his lips and took a look to the cool drink. His cup had chicks and leaves. He glanced around to the others' cups. Nat had a ladybug, Steve a frog, Bruce a bear. Thor's was actually funny, he had an elephant, which seemed out of place. Tony didn't have a cup, he had a baby bottle with silly, smiling monsters running up the measuring side.

The archer looked back at his cup and sipped again. He could see what this was, but he certainly wasn't hurting from a little regressive therapy. He merely leaned into the couch and went back to coloring, enjoying the smell of the cherry red marker he had.

X

They were in the exact place Rhodes had left him when he returned. He smiled and set the food on the table and set some plates up, "Whenever you guys are ready the food is in here."

The group glanced over and made sure their things stayed where they wanted before rushing up to grab a meal.

"Happy you're all enjoying," he stabbed a fork into his egg foo young and ate.


	9. Chapter 9

Two weeks passed by with them at Rhodes' house. Day by day he was giving them little exercises. Tony was able to relax more with his friends around. Mama had made a great point when he told him that since the group did now know of his little therapy there was no reason to limit it to Mama's room.

Currently Rhodes was relaxing in a nice warm bubble bath. The group had been called in to do Avengers stuff and that was just fine by him. A few minutes to himself never hurt. Especially after Colonel work yesterday.

X

Clint reached into his almost empty quiver with a sigh, "Nice to get back to work." He shot a droid, "What do you think is for dinner tonight?"

Steve swung his shield into one of the soldier, "Homemade pizza I think."

"Are we making our own again?" Nat drove the Jeep through a group of them, "I have a feeling we'll be a bit tired. Though I don't mind cutting the veggies again."

"Why didn't you get mom a fireplace?" Clint shot an exploding arrow into the building.

"He didn't want one," Tony shrugged, flying in, "But I am thinking about giving him an extension so he can have an enclosed patio come winter."

"Yeah, more to clean," Nat nodded.

Took them a few hours but they retrieved the items they were looking for.

X

Nick looked at the item, "Always something small that can be the big danger." He paced around the table of the battered men and woman, "Good job. I guess you guys can get home. I will keep you updated."

X

James hummed to himself as he set up their pyjamas. When they did make it back he was sure they'd be tired and ready for some relax time.

The sound of repulsors powering down and steps coming towards the front door alerted mama of his children returning home.

"How was the raid?" He called out as the door opened.

"The battle was heartily enjoyed!" Thor stepped in, "a rigorous exercise to be sure."

"Good to hear," he nodded, "Why don't you guys go shower and leave your clothes in the hamper."

"How long until dinner?" Bruce asked, holding his poncho closed. Hulking out always made him a combination of hungry and exhausted.

"Whenever you get cleaned up," he called, "Already got your plates ready. Two of you can use my bathroom and I would appreciate if it's still clean when you're done."

The majority nodded, Thor opting to use the first floor bathroom while 4/5 went to the second floor. Obviously Tony would wait.

"Both guest bathroom and your own with separate bath and shower?" He glanced, "You really do plan ahead."

"Someone has to," he glanced back, "I think we'll eat in the living room, that way we can watch a movie."

"Sweet, I'll pick the movie," he smiled and turned.

"Actually, it's Clint's day. You chose last time."

Tony huffed and went off to wait for a shower.

X

Steve woke first, climbing over Bruce. They all fell asleep during the movie so Rhodes left them on the pillow covered floor nest. Not like he would carry them up, or even bother to wake them once they were asleep. But Steve normally woke this time to go for a jog. He'd just come back and nap after.

X

"Alright, darlings, it's about lunch time," James called, walking about, "made sandwiches for if you decide to get up."

Tony huffed as he waited in Rhodes room. He wanted alone time with his mummy. Was he stingy? Of course! It took forever before he got less pouty about Bucky calling Rhodes mom, now the others were doing it.

The man huffed. How was his older brother anyway?

"Alright, I'm in," Mama called, "I was letting the still sleeping group know there is food."

"Thats nice. Don't care," he watched Rhodey put the movie in and leaned into the bed. Soon as the man was all the way in Tony immediately nestled on him, "Heard from Bucky?"

"He called a couple days ago," he shrugged, "Said he's fine, misses us and will come visit soon."

"Where was I?"

"You were off doing Avengers things," Rhodey rubbed his hair back, "He asked about his favorite baby brother and I told him you were just fine."

"You should've told him I was dying of the black plague. That would've got him here," he pulled his blankie close, brushing it against his cheek.

"I'm sure he'll come visit soon," he smiled and wrapped an arm around him.

"It's taking him forever to." Bucky had decided to go on some solo traveling for a while and it's been over two months since they'd seen him.

James chortled hearing him say that, "And to think you were one of the first people to do a backflip when he said we was planning on traveling for a while."

"Well...that's just because I got to have you and Steve back to myself," he muttered.

"Yeah?" Rhodes smiled and hugged him tight, "I know. I also know you would never admit that to Steve."

"Don't need him getting a big head, now do we?"

X

Thor sat at his bed, eating the meat and veggie sandwiches to satisfaction, "The day is a beautiful one. We should do some vigorous outdoor exercise."

Steve looked, "Your definition of vigorous and ours is a little different."

"Perhaps we put use to the toys of the shed again?" He suggested, using Clint as a footrest.

"Sounds fun," the blond footrest commented, "Go ask permission."

"I shall," he stood, starting to the stairs. Soon as his foot graced two of them the bell rang. The godling paused, looking to the silhouette at the door. He walked over, fiddling with the keys before pulling the door opened.

"Uhm," an unassuming, curly haired brunette stood at the door, "Is Jamie home?"

"Jamie? Who is this you speak of?"

"You know, carob skin, brown eyes, short black hair with a high hairline," the young man described, "Tony's mommy."

"Ah yes! I will retrieve him for you."


	10. Chapter 10

"You certainly get a lot of visitors," Nat watched as the mom packed them some food, "And why are you suddenly kicking us out?"

"Well for one I'm expecting a lady friend soon. Also I want you six to get some fresh air. And what better way than going on a hike?" He handed Steve the backpack with all the food and Clint the bag with all the drinks.

"Which lady friend?" The archer raised a brow, "We getting a second mom?"

"Would you look at the time?" Rhodes pushed the group out, "Don't want any sunburn," he sprayed them all with sunblock and lemon eucalyptus. The latter to prevent bug bites.

"Do we have to go?" Tony coughed as Rhodes handed Bruce his diaper bag.

"Have a great time guys," he closed the door and went back in the house to clean.

"Guess that's our answer," the scientist sighed lightly and walked with the rest of the group to the wooded area not too far from Rhodes place.

"Do mosquitoes even bother you?"

"Not normally," Bruce shrugged, "But that's maternal safety precautions."

X

"Whose Ma's mystery woman?" Clint looked to Tony as he sipped some water.

"Oh, the redhead," he shrugged, "Her name is Kira. Quite the woman. And she's flexible."

"That one we saw when we first started staying here?" Nat peered.

Steve turned, and "The one who rushed out of his shower?"

Tony smirked, "Yep, the one with the 32 double e's."

"There's no such thing as double e's, Tony," Steve glared. The rest of the group just looked about, "Is there? And how do you know her size?"

"She told me when she had to get tailor fitted for a brassiere," he snickered at the group's awe, "She's very honest and blunt about stuff."

Nat scoffed, "And what else did she tell you, exactly?"

"Well that she's over 500 years old and some other crap," Tony waved a hand.

Hearing him say that they knew he was pulling their legs now and they just opted to ignore him.

X

Kira covered a yawn, "Know when you plan on telling them or just going going to keep it a surprise?"

"Tony already knows and he's eager. I'm waiting to see if the others will even still be here," Rhodes wiped the sweat from his brow and neck,

"Well I'm certainly excited!" She clapped and grabbed his cheek playfully, "This will be a fun way to end the summer, don't you think?"

He smiled and put an arm around her neck, "Couldn't agree with you more. Bet Tony is just bragging away."

"Exactly why he doesn't need to know everything," she shook her head.

X

Tony looked at his watch, "We've been out here about two hours doing a lot of nothing. I think now would be a good time to head back."

Clint stretched out, looking down from the tree limb, "We've explored a nice length of the woods, and two hours was really pushing it," he nodded. The wooded area wasn't that big.

"So?" Steve looked around, "Everyone ready then?"

"I surely am," Bruce stood from the rock. Outdoors were nice but he had a limit.

"Then back we go," the leader nodded and grabbed a bag, expecting everyone to follow.

X

"So?" Steve stood behind the man as he gathered the food items, "Who is she?"

"A friend. Why, interested?" James teased.

"I..me?" He gave a red hot blush, "no. No...just curious. Tony said her name was Kira."

"Thats right and you will meet her later." The Colonel pat his back and went to the stove.

"Later when?"

"You and everyone else?"

"What?"

"It's a surprise ~!" James chuckled to himself. Tony was right, Steve was funny when he got flustered.


	11. Chapter 11

Clint tossed a bit as he dreamt. He was at home, at least in his mind. The house was quiet but he could hear the footsteps.

x

The archer covered a yawn as he slowly began to wake up, "Man, Steve, I had the weirdest dream."

"Mm," the soldier responded with a hum. He was just barely waking up himself.

"Had a dream that I had another baby and she was here," he chuckled some and turned on his side, his hand landing on something soft. He would've assumed that was Steve but it was much smaller and between both the men. They had been there a good while so he knew Rhodes had no pets other than fish.

"Steve?"

"What?"

"Do you have a pet?"

The man cracked an eye open, "What? No. Obviously."

That didn't make him feel more comfortable at all. The archer built himself up then quickly lifted the blanket and between both men was a small human baby. She was just sleeping away as unaware as possible.

"Steve, there is a baby in the bed."

"What?" by this point, Clint's talking had woken him, he started to turn towards the man when he felt something rub against his back. He quickly looked and lo and behold Clint was truthful, "What!? Where did he come from? We didn't conoodle!"

"Uhm...Not to each other...I hope, if so my entire education of how baby making works is completely wrong," he jumped out of bed and gently grabbed the baby then hurried off to find Rhodes, "Ma!"

x

James was pulling out the microwave stuff he needed to get rid of. Pancakes, breakfast sandwiches and french toast. They can go amongst themselves and figure out what they want. He'd just have to fix them for Tony and Thor. Speaking of Thor he had to wash his hair again.

He nodded to himself, plans seemed to be well and concrete. Time to wake the Avengers. Soon as the mother turned he nearly crashed into the archer.

Clint pointed to the toddler, "This was in me and Steve's bed, I don't know where it came from."

"Oh, thats Jenie, the one I told you I tend to occasionally." he smiled and rubbed her hair, "She had waddled to your room and you pulled her in bed with you both so I figured you were well off."

"Oh…" he looked to the stirring baby, "Do you want her back?"

"Not right now, I have to wake everyone for breakfast," he patted Clint's back before leaving to wake everyone.

"But…" Clint sighed and looked down to her, her eyes slowly cracking open and looking at the man holding her, "You stink, baby girl," he went to search for some baby sized diapers.

x

After breakfast, the gang formed around the little one, who seemed to be very entertained by them all and their different features. She really loved Nat's red hair.

"Anything on the schedule other than dealing with this little doll, Mom?" she called as the toddler sat on her lap, pawing at and gently playing with her hair.

"For me, no, but I don't make you guys' schedules," he shrugged, reading the paper and circling sales and things that caught his interest.

Nat smiled and bounced the baby on her lap, "Someone loves hair."

She smiled and cooed, "Grammy."

Bruce saw Nat playing with the toddler and smiled, "You're very good at that."

Her green eyes glanced away for a moment. She smiled and picked the baby up and handed it to him, "Why don't you try it?"

The scientist looked to the baby like a deer in headlights for a moment. The little one held away at arm's length just stared at him. His subtle look of fright was somehow entertaining and she cooed at him.

"I'm happy you guys are enjoying her," James commented. Hey, nothing wrong with them playing with the baby while he got paid to babysit. Wasn't like Tony wasn't already sitting on him and playing his gameboy.

"It's certainly something different," Bruce finally spoke as the baby caressed his hair.

"Maybe you should have one," Steve smirked, watching the scientist turn a deep shade of pink and hand the baby back to Nat and scurry off.

"Wouldn't that be something?" Rhodes smirked, flipping the page.

Thor was forced to hold the baby as she rubbed his beard, "Mother of Stark? Be this part of the surprise?"

The man rolled his eyes, "Yes, she's part of the surprise.

Steve paused and stared at the baby and back at Rhodey. Nat caught his look and glanced between the baby and their mom. She looked back to Steve to join in unspoken skepticism.


	12. Chapter 12

"Any calls from Fury?" Bruce asked over the sound of the vacuum. Apparently the Colonel liked his welcome mats vacuumed.

"Not currently," Nat got started on the dishes from breakfast and lunch. She'd have to do it again around dinner but if she did it now at least it wouldn't be a giant pile. Mom was even good to warn her that he was baking macaroni tonight.

"Well its not as if it's something daily for all of us," he marked, "Just you three."

She shrugged, "Yeah, but it's been nice to have this little break."

He nodded, "Some stability is always enjoyable."

"Hello, my dears," Rhodes returned from a short trip.

"Hey mom, how was getting gas?" Nat smiled.

"It went well, think I want to take you guys on a little trip to the store," he hummed, stepping up the stairs.

Bruce followed him with his eyes, "He seems rather chipper."

"Knowing him it'll rub off on us," Clint wiped the mirrors down. Tony gave him some cash to do his chores.

X

A few moments passed by before James re-emerge from his room, "Get ready people. Exercise gear. We're going out."

"The gym?" Steve had gone with Sam just the other day but was more than eager to go back.

"Technically."

"What does 'technically' mean?" The archer inquired, aiming an arrow out the slightly raised window.

"It means get a water bottle, put on your exercise clothes and let's go," he grabbed himself, and Tony, a water from the pantry.

The group exchanged looks and shrugs before going off to their respective rooms to change or gather shoes.

X

"Where are we going?" Steve looked to the driver.

"Gym, get some exercise. Today is the only day I can make, as I have plans and work so I figured I'd bring you all," Rhodes watched the road, occasionally glancing in his rear view to check Tony and his driving.

"Pardon me for saying," Clint squeezed Rhodey's arm, "You don't look like the gym type."

"Very seldom as my job doesn't require me look like Captain America," he laughed, "But I think I'll be able to go more often, with my schedule changes."

"Less hours?"

"Less hours, more pay," he smiled, pulling onto the parking lot of their destination.

X

It was lovely and sizeable, plenty of equipment, large pool, cycle room, another room for private exercise.

"So where are we going?" Bruce glanced about.

"Well I am going to that room there," James pointed to a room with a few women in it as he signed them all up and paid, "If you guys want you can go deal with other equipment. But I suggest you come with me at least for twenty minutes."

The group, sensing a challenge, followed the Colonel to the room to see what was going on in there that he was so interested in.

A woman in a pink tank top and capris clapped, "Evening, ladies and sirs. Nice to see you again James. And you brought an army with you," she smiled.

"My own personal one," He nodded.

Thor looked at the few women there. He noticed a plump woman with wavy brown hair, "Now she has a build good for bearing sons," his eyes traced her thick, solid build. Her curved hourglass figure and beautiful bronze skin with a few freckles across the bridge of her nose and upper cheeks singing pleasant melodies to him.

Steve noticed his thoughtful look and glanced to the woman, "Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"I may admire a beauty other than my own," he told the American boy, "I am still faithful to Jane and have no interest in forsaking our affections. But I am not above admitting other women to be as attractive if not more."

Steve nodded some and joined everyone in finding a position.

No sooner than the woman started playing music a young man scurried in. He had a familiar face.

X

To the surprise and dismay of several members of the Avengers they had been tricked into attending a Zumba class. For those who are unfamiliar, like Steve and Thor, Zumba is rhythmic dance exercise to various songs.

From the outside it was hilarious. Steve and Thor could barely make the right turns and constantly ran into each other or the young man who had chosen unwisely by being in their line. Bruce was doing a little better but rather bashful the whole time.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise that the two spies were able to keep up and figure the patterns out rather quickly. To them it was nothing out of the ordinary, except a little more fun.

"How is everybody?" The instructor paused to wipe sweat from her brow, "We're going to do our cool down and then we'll be done."

"Is the cool down not a humiliating punishment?" Thor brushed his hair from his eyes.

"It's the same as we did before we began dancing," said the young man who they had pummeled while attempting to dance.

"That is much better," he nodded. Cool down was simple stretching. They could do that.

With that done there was a bunch of laughs.

"Do you guys have to be stereotypes?" Nat laughed, "happy neither of you got weights, you might have killed that poor guy."

Steve panted, looking to the young man, "Sorry, son."

"It takes time," the young man nodded, wiping his sweaty forehead.

"Were you not the one at the house a mere few days ago?" Thor glanced.

X

"All these people have to be part of the surprise," Steve whispered over his smoothie.

"It could be a party or something," Bruce commented.

"The baby, the woman in the shower, him kicking us out for at least two hours. Something is happening," Steve commented.

"So what? He has a secret family?" Clint sipped.

"You would know about that, wouldn't you?" Steve glanced.

The archer turned his attention to his drink, "This smoothie is good. Super fresh.

Super soldier's eyes widened, "Maybe that's it. Maybe that's why even Tony doesn't know of this surprise."

Bruce cringed some while Nat nodded a tilt as if not disagreeing.

"Mother of Stark, this orange and mango smoothie is marvelous!" Thor raised his drink.


	13. Chapter 13

"Get the bag, please?" Rhodes was rushing them to get some items into his car. This was the day of the surprise and he needed to make sure all was well, "Alright, checklist."

"Cooler is being placed in the trunk," Steve carried the large beverage container on his shoulder, walking out to the Equinox.

"Towels and such," Natalia checked the bag, "Seven of them."

"Good. Ice?"

"You poured it in the cooler," Clint slipped into his shoes, "Got the sun screen, lip balms, and every one has a hat."

"Good," the mother did a mental run down before starting off to the car.

"Forgetting something?" Bruce looked to the man.

"Tony is already in the car, and you guys are wearing your swim suits, right?" They all nodded in agreement, but Bruce held up an important item of Tony's. James just facepalmed, "How could I forget Tony's diaper bag? Thanks Bruce."

The scientist chuckled to himself before walking off to the car.

X

"So are we going to the sur-"

"Yes! Goodness, we're going to the surprise. Stop bothering me!" Rhodes scolded Steve, "I told you yesterday, and the day before, and today, that this was the day of the surprise."

X

After an hour drive, seemed like every drive was that long lately, they arrived to a nice wooded house.

"Alright, we're here and now you guys can help set up," Rhodey parked his car up front and jumped out, "You can handle that, right Steve?"

"Hm? Oh yes." He pulled the cooler out,"Everyone put your sunblock on."

He wasn't sure what Rhodes expected them to do. The tables out back had cloths on them. Some lights were up, everything looked clean.

"Why don't you help Allison setup?" The mama pointed to two cars pulling up.

"Whose that?"

"Tony?"

"On it," the genius walked them to the cars.

X

Steve carried the heavier boxes and bags, "Sure is a lot of food, ma'am." He struggled them to the table.

"Thank you, honey. Have to cook some of the food here, most has already been cooked, just have to warm it," It was the same plump woman from the dance.

Thor saw her and instantly ran to the car, "Allow me to provide some aid."

"Thank you," She smiled and got the grill ready.

"Something big," Steve told Nat, "Has to be a celebration."

"I still say it's a pool party," Bruce shook his head.

Tony smirked, "I think Kira is here, ma."

"Ok, great." James signed some papers for the delivery man, "When she's done tell her to-"

"I'll go get her," Steve volunteered, hurrying off.

The man's head turned, "What? Steve don't!"

The blond got to the Kia and paused. He could see the rocking of the car and see the steam on the windows. The sounds of moaning and other various noises were a bit obvious. Steve had seen enough movies to know he didn't want to go near that car.

X

"What's up?" Clint could see the beet red face of the soldier.

He muttered to himself as he walked, "People of this period are so...vulgar."

After about twenty minutes the redhead Kira joined the party, pulling a white haired man in tow, "Morning everyone."

There were a few replied mutterings, waves and some warm hugs.

Steve saw her and gasped, "Was that you in the car?"

She turned to the parking lot, "Oh yes, we parked a ways off so we could spend a little time together."

He blushed again, "Who is the gentleman with you?"

"Oh this is my husband," she smiled, tapping the man's hand, "Alec."

Three of the Avengers, Nat, Clint and Steve looked in a mixture of shock and confusion.

"You're married?" Nat looked between her and the man.

"Happily for many centuries now," she smiled.

"So you're not married to Rhodes?" Steve cocked his head at her. No sooner than he did that his ear was snatched.

"What did you just say?" James had a firm grip on it.

"Oww, oww, ow! Well it seemed to make sense, the constant pushing for the surprise, kicking us out the house when she came and the baby," he gripped to the man's arm.

"I'm a fitness instructor," Kira explained, "Occasionally I'll do private training. My husband is a doctor and often does surgeries, so it's not uncommon for him to work 58 hours solid. When he does time like that I don't like him, our son, or his brother driving themselves home. So I quickly jumped in the shower and ran to get them as James doesn't live far from the hospital they're employed at."

"And the baby?" He winced at the pull.

"Oh, thats my grandbaby," she smiled and waved a hand.

"Did you really that was mine?" Rhodey glared at the super soldier, "The toddler is clearly Korean and neither of us are even a little Asian."

"Well it isn't totally inconceivable. You are a dashing and warm blooded man."

James released his ear, "Good answer. Next time ask."

Tony snickered as Steve tried to rub the sting from the helix of his ear.

Natalia eye balled the woman, "You have a grandchild?"


	14. Chapter 14

Bruce chuckled, "I did tell you." He watched as others shuffled into the party, "Secretly married."

"Shut it," Steve retorted, "Think he pulled my ear out of socket." He rubbed, "Who are all these people?"

"Probably hurt your mastoid," the doctor shrugged, "Mingle and meet them. Tony is talking to the man from dance and Nat is conversing with Kira."

"Why aren't you talking?" He looked to scout out someone and figured best to apologize to Kira's husband.

He was talking with another man, one clearly older and assumably Allison's husband. They were laughing about and having conversation in French.

"Hi, I'm Steve," he held out his hand and shook both theirs', "Just wanted to apologize about the mix up."

Alec smiled, "No problem, happens. As you've been told, I'm Alec. This fine gentleman here is Sebastian."

"Pleasant to meet you," the bearded man nodded to him, "We were actually laughing over how often this happens. I beat him because my dear Allison was accused of kidnapping our children."

"How do you get accused of that?"

Sebastian pointed to the man Tony was speaking with, "That is our baby Raven. He has my complexion, although when he was younger he had her freckles. Many assumptions were made by my wife having such a rich complexion compared to him," he laughed some, "He use to cry about not being chocolate like mommy. French vanilla not pretty enough."

Steve joined in the laugh some, "What's this party for? Either of you know?"

"Oh the women and James are in a club and they host a monthly magazine called MILF monthly. So this is their little thing. There will be photos taken for it and all," Sebastian explained.

The soldier nodded, "Huh, ok."

X

A pair of grey eyes were watching Bruce with a curious scientist turned to see what he assumed to be an older child looking at him from behind the table.

He tilted his head and smiled, "Hello."

"Do you remember me?" A voice peeped.

"Well I might if I saw you."

The boy quickly hurried over to him with a smile, "I remember you. I shared a picnic with you."

"Oh really?" Bruce gave a simpler, embarrassed to not recall, "How old were you?"

"Same age I am now, 14. But it was over a year ago."

"So how are you still 14?"

"I've always been 14," he shrugged, "For a very long time. A lot longer than Captain America. We're like those mutants. We don't age."

Bruce looked him over again, "Yes," he nodded, "I do remember you. You were in the forest, with your little bear," he pointed to the little black stuffie in the boy's hand.

"Kimya is my guardian and protector," he hugged it, "And you were a lot bigger and green."

X

Steve's eyes stayed on the white haired man's stomach, "Do those hurt?"

Alec looked down at his two navel rings, "Only when I first got them. My brothers found out and slapped me in the stomach thinking they were funny," he rolled his eyes, "They tugged my ears every piercing I got their too."

"How many do you have?" Sebastian had seen his earrings but had never thought to ask, he just knew his friend enjoyed the rings apparently.

"Two navel rings, twelve earrings, six per ear, and three tongue rings."

"And you're a doctor?"

"Yep."

"Your appearance doesn't bother people?" Steve was trying not to be rude just curious.

"I take my earrings off at work and try to remember to remove my tongue rings. My hair I just pin or tie back," he could see the cogs in Steve's head, "No, unlike my beloved my hair isn't dyed, I lack melanin in my hair which causes it to be naturally white. But I enjoy it passed my shoulders."

"Just curious," he looked at Sebastian, "Are you a doctor as well?"

"No, I am a language teacher. French, English and Italian and a part time translator." He smiled.

"You both seem quite complex, " Steve muttered. Being around them could make someone self conscience

X

"So," Clint smirked to the brunette Tony was talking to, "You know Tony needs diapers?"

"Yes I know, I need them too," the man, whose name was Raven, commented,"Bullet ricocheted off my spine. Physical therapy was a pain."

"Did your partner ever wake from that coma?" Tony looked.

"Don't know, don't care," he scoffed.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please come to the tables so the meeting can begin," Kira called.


	15. Chapter 15

hodey stood before the party, going on about sponsors, photo shoot plans for the day, games and all other presidential duties.

"Clint?" Steve leaned over to the archer, "What is a MILF?"

The archer paused for the best way to phrase it, "Well its an acronym for a good looking mother, to be professional about it."

Steve nodded and looked around at the women and then at Rhodes. The title was agreeable.

"And what you mothers have been waiting for, our Swimsuits have come in," he pointed to some boxes to his left, "We'll need to wear them for the shoot so I figure we can do the shoot first then our games and food lastly."

Most everyone agreed with the order, get the important out of the way so there was more time for the fun.

"We have prizes for our games and contest and of course we will have mom themed games that anyone can join. Diaper rally, bottle downing, and a few others. But for everyone we have water balloon fights, treasure hunt, diving for gold,noodle joust, volleyball, and of course the wet t-shirt contest."

Quite a list of games planned. And there was still a raffle. After a few more announcements and answering of questions they disburse.

"So this is where he's been going every week?" Bruce looked to Tony, knowing he had the answer.

"The club only meets two or three times a month," the genius shrugged, "So I doubt it's been this every week."

Steve had to reel his eyes back, "Swimsuits are quite...well they leave little to the imagination," he noticed Kira's bikini.

Nat looked, "Are you talking about miss top heavy in the tie top and shorts or me?" Between the two of them Nat was a little more exposed do to her hipster bottoms.

Steve glanced to her,"Thought you were against bikinis."

"Well it can be fun sometimes," she smiled, feeling a groping on her legs, "Well look who wandered over." It was little baby Jenie, happily kissing everyone's legs.

Kira hurried over to the baby, "Are you joining in the diaper rally?"

The natural redhead scoffed, "Stark gets a little bashful when I offer."

"I meant with Jenie," she pointed down.

"Oh, oh I don't think so," she shook her head as the baby kissed Steve's legs, "She sure is affectionate."

"Oh yes, she loves legs. Especially her grandfather's," she leaned down to kiss the baby, "would you watch her while I go take this picture please?" She hurried off .

"I still don't believe she's a grandmother," the blond shook his head.

"Well you're old enough to be a grandfather yourself," she baited, "But she told me some very interesting stuff that leads me to believe."

He gave her a glare, "I don't have to take this, I'm going to mingle," he walked with the baby hold on his leg.

X

Thor rubbed his chin as the women, and Rhodes, were posed for the picture. Allison's smooth, fitted one piece perfectly complimented her. And her braided pigtails were easy on the eyes as well. He smiled widely.

Sebastian, Allison's husband, followed Thor's gaze, "Like what you see?"

The godling turned to him, "Your taste in women proves your greyheadddness to be from wisdom. I know men who would battle for a woman who could light a candle to your wife."

The teacher nodded with a pleased smile, "She is a treasure. And was indeed good for bearing a son," he tapped Thor's arm before grabbing a drink.

X

Clint hid, gauging the wind. He was on limited ammo but that was nothing new. He should've gone guns like Nat, oh well. Work with what he had. He sighed and prepped himself before leaving his safety and diving into the battle.

The balloons were flying everywhere as were the streams of water. Nat had opted to only have a few balloons and mostly went in with water guns. Everyone was dodging, laughing and screaming as they got hit with the sudden burst of water. But of course they had their goggles, safety first.

Now dripping in water and fully spent at the current moment they settled to enjoy the large feast.

"Thank you Allison and Alec for the food," Tony marked, destroying everything on his plate.

"Welcome," Alli said as she happily ate.

"Nothing like a good meal to refuel," Kira bit into her hotdog.

Steve was half paying attention to his meal as he looked to Kira's chest as she casually nursed her granddaughter.

Rhodes noticed him staring and pinched his rear causing him to flinch and nearly drop his chicken.

"Yes, refueling is important," he looked to his plate and rubbed his cheek.

X

After all was said and done everyone was packing up to leave.

"Going home with your mommy and daddy?" Tony asked Raven.

The cop nodded, tossing some trash, "Yeah, took a week off to spend with them, they're elated."

"I'm sure. My house got destroyed again so I'm staying with mine a while."

"Are you actually getting it fixed?" The boy looked to him.

"Minimum six months to rebuild the tower. And that's with the aid of my bots." He smiled and shrugged, "I'm in no hurry."

X

"Will you come visit, please?" The grey eyed boy begged Bruce, "And we can have another picnic?"

Bruce smiled and rubbed his head, "Sure Rie."

The boy beamed, "Ok, I'll make sure to pack enough for Hulk." He pranced off. Seemed it wasn't just Tony who was a hulk fan.

X

"The squirt is all yours," Nat handed the sleeping baby off to Kira.

"You wear that outfit," the toddler's grandma told her, "And we're on for a jog this Thursday if all is well?"

"You got it," the redhead nodded, "Looking forward to it."

X

"Thanks honey, I think that's it," Allison looked to Thor when he finished packing the car for her.

"It is my pleasure to help you," he kissed her hand.

"Hope to see you again." She smiled and hoped in, glancing to her husband, "He's cute."

"He has a crush on you, dear," Sebastian chuckled.

"What would he want with this old lady?" She teased.

"You're only 53, I'm 54 and I'm not old, Missy," he rubbed her leg.

She smiled and leaned in to give him a kiss, "You're the only man who can put his hand in my cookie jar."

"Cookie jar? Been spending a bit too much time with Kira," he chuckled at her terminology.

"And you, meine liebe, mon amour, have been spending too much with Alec," she felt his hand squeeze her knee, under her dress, "But I think I like it."

He kissed her cheek before pulling off, "Moi aussi."

X

"So?"

Nat sighed, "She's both only 24 and also over 500 apparently. Her husband is 33 and also over 500. According to her they were science experiments like you. So now do you understand how she has a grandchild?"

"Well how is she nursing her?" He scratched his head.

"I didn't ask that..."

"That would've been interesting to know," Clint commented.

"Like a dog ready for a puppy she fills up with milk when she feels motherly," Rhodes filled them in, "According to her sons and husband it tastes like a vanilla milkshake."

"Have you ever tried it, mom?" Nat smirked teasing again.

"Oh yeah, it's delicious," he heard the silence and smirked himself, "Breast milk is good for you. Fights cancer supposedly."


	16. Chapter 16

James hummed to himself, checking the mail. Stuff for ironbrat, American man, and himself. Bills, some letters from work, the magazine company and a card from his dad. The last made him smile.

He strolled on to the kitchen and grabbed a plum while reading through things. Just being informed that he'll be sent a sample magazine soon to approve of. Mortgage bill, utilities, insurance. All that good stuff.

"I'm going to pay some bills tomorrow," he glanced to Natalia, the only one present since the guys were out in the yard playing horseshoes, "And I'm thinking I'm going to get you guys more Pjs, a cold front is coming in."

"Sounds like a plan," she nodded, sipping away at her water, "Clint plans to be back in a few days anyway so I'm sure he'll love the pajamas."

"You can come if you'd like. We haven't had a chance to just hang," he wanted to make sure they all had a chance to spend some mommy time with him. He had something planned for Clint but he decided to go visit the family, nothing wrong there, now he could deal well with Nat.

"I don't have any plans," she smiled, "So how's it feel to be a mom?"

James shrugged, "Feels nice. Get to hear 'I love you' a lot. Ton of worrying. Far more than you get just being a friend."

"Sounds reasonable," She glanced off.

"But if you want to hear from someone who actually birthed their kids you should talk to Kira and Allison," he snickered, "They'll give you all the body changing, craving, and sore nipple truths."

She cringed a little but smiled still, "You said you tried Breast milk? How is it?"

"Taste good to me," he walked to the fridge and poured some creamy liquid in her cup before handing it to her, "Try some."

"I...that's tit milk?" He got it from a two gallon jug. She was more concerned with if the jug was actually full or not.

Rhodes swirled it some and took a sip, "Yep," he handed it to her.

The redhead looked and took a few sips. She looked wide at the cup, "That does taste like vanilla!"

"I know!" He nodded, "Like the good vanilla," he glanced out the window to the men and smirked, "Want to play a prank on the guys?"

That slightly naughty look had her smirking herself, "What kind of joke?"

"Let's bake them some cookies," he pulled his apron on.

"I'm not a baker," she laughed, "And I'm not sure that's a prank."

"Let mom teach you," he tossed her an apron.

X

They decided on making the guys some oatmeal raisin cookies of the chewy variety. Steve had been really weirded out by the idea of drinking human milk, even though both him and Bucky love regular old cow and goat milk. So this seemed like the best way to tease him. Normally he wouldn't push someone who was averse to something like that but it was too priceless to miss.

"Is the sugar by volume or weight?" She looked to the recipe.

"Volume, and put the mixer on four please," he cracked the eggs on the plate.

Tony burst in from the back door, "Hello, what you guys doing?"

"Baking cookies for when you guys are done playing," Nat smiled.

"You know how to cook?" He gave the woman a raised brow.

"Here and there, either way I'm helping now go back and play," she shooed him out of the kitchen.

"Fine," Tony waved a hand before grabbing some bottled water for him and the others and shuffling out.

She waved a dismissive hand and watched as mama taught.

"You want to fold these in, just like with chocolate chips, so you don't have hard cookies," he showed her, watching as she nodded.

X

Nat smiled to Rhodey as the men folk demolished lunch, turkey sandwiches with all the fixings.

"Exhilarating game of horseshoes?" She smirked eating her sandwich.

"Very," the soldier nodded, "You two should come and play touch football with us."

"Sounds fun," Rhodes wiped his mouth and sipped his juice, "We can have cookies tonight after we wash up."

"Can we have them now?!" Thor looked to the mother.

"You wouldn't want to get a cramp while playing," Steve told him, "We have chips currently anyway," he munched away at the final fragments of food.

"Ready when you you boys are," Rhodes put the dishes away into the sink.

X

Football with two beefcakes, spie, a baby, and a scientist was all kinds of exhaustive for mama dear, who, as Clint stated, wasn't the most physically intimidating. But what he lacked in muscle he made up for in speed, wit, and agility. Stamina was arguable.

"Well, I'm sweaty," the mother wiped his brow, "Time for some washing and then we can have a few board games before bed tonight."

"Shall I lay the pillows?" Thor questioned before gathering his night clothes.

"Sure, you make the nest." He nodded, hurrying upstairs with the others.

X

With all the pillows lined up on the floor for everyone they set up a few games. Monopoly, Life, and at the end a few games of Uno. James was happy with how well they had been accepting the therapy. Probably all missed being cared for to some degree.

"Cookies and milk?" Mama passed the food out to his kiddies, "Baked fresh."

"Your decadent treats spoil the son of Odin," Thor took about three and a tall glass of milk.

Steve licked his lips after taking a sip of the milk, "This is great," he drank more, nearly forgetting about the cookies.

"How does it taste?" He smiled to Nat as the group all enjoyed and continued to drink, "Hey Tony, how does it taste?"

"Like Kira's milk," he sucked it down, not like he hadn't had it before.

Steve stopped midsip, "What...? Like... _her_ milk" Rhodes smiled and finished his milk. The man went pale realizing he was on his second glass of it.

Thor looked confused, "The woman of the pool area?"

Bruce stared, "Her...milk?" He shrugged and finished. It had medicinal properties and delicious.


	17. Chapter 17

"Think you have enough?" Nat watched as Rhodes threw a case with one thousand baby wipes in the cart she was pushing along with the detergent and soap powder.

"With you lot I can never have enough," he set some peaches in his, along with plums and other produce, "I'll just get one set of bananas since Tony and I seem to be the only ones who like them," he looked, deciding on a second one.

"Don't forget about the cold front, " she watched him.

X

"She stole my mama and left me here!" Tony whined.

Clint snickered, "maybe they'll come back. Maybe they'll run away together, leaving you eternally in Steve's custody."

Tony found that about as funny as a room filled with Brazilian Wandering spiders. He voiced it by throwing a book at the archer, nailing him in the back of the head.

"Hey!" He grabbed his head, "Calm down! It's just a joke!"

"It's not funny, Barton!" He glared.

"Come now, no need to be so hostile towards each other," Thor scolded them both, "Mother of Stark will return soon enough, I'm sure."

"They went to the store, Tony," Steve popped his leg, "Don't throw things and Clint, stop picking at Tony's sensitive spot."

"Sorry, it was a joke," he rubbed the dull throbbing out and looked to the genius, "What's wrong with you, Stark? Bad night?"

"I'm just," he trailed off and turned back to the tv with a gloomy look.

X

"I think that looks nice on you," mama looked at the navy blue quilted coat she had on, "Is that the coat you want?" He decided to call Steve to learn if 'Adonis' needed a coat.

"Yeah, this is pretty nice," she decided, placing it in the cart on top of the other items.

Rhodes noticed her looking to him and smirked gently grabbing her chin in a playful manner, "You look as if you're trying to dig inside me for something, Ladybug."

"I was just looking at your eyes," she shook her head, "Wearing contacts today?"

"Yes I'm sure that's what you were looking at. Come on, I have to do some shopping for the baby," he went towards the front but paused to toss some extra things in for Natalia.

"What's that?" She noticed him stopping and tossing things in.

"Don't you worry about that, you worry about what we're eating for dinner," he scoffed and pushed on.

X

"So this is where you get Tony's stuff?" She watched as the man dumped about four cases, each containing three packages, of diapers in the cart.

"Some of it," he waltzed to the front with a smile.

"What are you smiling about?" Nat looked at him curiously.

"You're adorable when you make that face," he marked simply.

"Stop deflecting, mother."

"Mother? You must really be wondering," Rhodes chuckled, checking his text, "Steve is calling, your baby brother is being a fuss bucket."

X

Mama combed the redhead's hair, he'd had to come home because his stingy baby was having a tissy and whining about being forgotten. Rhodes just let him lay on his lap so he would be able to relax some. Though he was still being needy.

"I think you would look very nice in a bow," mama smiled and finished, "Hanging out with all these lovely haired people is giving me plenty of practice."

Natalia looked in the mirror at the half up, half down hairstyle with the black ribbon, "Takes me back to childhood. Or what I guess it should've been."

"Very becoming," Clint gave her a thumbs up around his gnocchi.

Steve smirked, "You actually look like a sweetheart."

"I guess you would know," she stuck her tongue out and turned to hug mom.

Soon as she wrapped her arms around him Tony pushed at her stomach to get her away.

"Tony," Rhodes looked down as the man turned, hugging him tightly. He just sighed, leaning and kissing Nat on the forehead, "You're very pretty."

She gave a subtly shy smile and looked to Tony who was still clinging hard, "Mom hog," she kissed the top of his head.


	18. Chapter 18

Tony lay in his mother's bed on his side. He held his security blanket to his cheek and sighed. Mama was on the phone and he was listening in, not on purpose, but he couldn't help it, he was in the room less than six feet away.

"Yeah its been a challenging set of months," he spoke into the receiver, "Well yeah, that's true."

Tony could hear Rhodes walking about the room and shuffling things.

"Dealing with Tony alone is difficult. Then there was Tony and Bucky. Now it's all the Avengers," he sighed, "Yeah, Tony has started regressing it seems. I just need a vacation."

 _Vacation? Did I do something?_ Tony thought _. Does mama just not want to be around me anymore? What if he hates me?_ The genius could feel his eyes welling with tears.

"I got the card you sent me too, really made me feel good," he smiled, sitting into his desk chair to read the news. Just as he booted his laptop up and started to speak he could hear Tony's soft sobbing from the bed.

"Gotta go, Tony's having another nightmare. See you later dad," he hung up and walked over, rubbing Tony's back, "It's ok."

To his surprise that didn't soothe him as it normally did. He climbed in the bed next to him and shook his shoulder, "Tony?" The man sobbed in response, "Wake up, you're having a nightmare."

Tony wiped his eyes and sobbed into the pillow, keeping his face away.

"What's wrong?"

"You hate me!" He sobbed.

"What!" The man gasped and pulled his child into a hug, "Says who? I'll kill 'em!"

Tony cried into the man's chest, "You said it! That you needed a vacation, and I was difficult!"

James looked at him in disbelief, "Is that all?" Tony's glance up to him, eyes waterfalls, "By me being mortal and occasionally needing a breather you define that as an expression of hatred?"

"You said I was difficult," he sniffed.

"Yes, you can be," he nodded and hugged him tight, "Doesn't mean I hate you in the least," the man just clung to him sobbing, "Is my boy jealous again? That the others are getting my attention? Is that it?"

Tony looked to what he assumed was his mother's foot, unable to tell as tears were obscuring his vision. He turned and buried his head back into Rhodey's chest and nodded.

"Aw, baby," he sighed and rubbed his head, "You know I can love and care for more than one person. Nobody would ever replace you." He took some tissues and wiped his eyes and nose, "Ok, we'll have our day today then."

He figured Tony felt neglected. He went from having majority Rhodes attention to splitting it with Bucky and now splitting it with five other people. To make things more trying for him was the fact that Steve was acting less like a daddy now and more like an older sibling, taking little weight off mama.

X

"Hey mom, are you up?" Bruce knocked at the bedroom door before walking in.

Rhodes was in his personal bathroom reading the paper quietly.

Bruce stepped over, "Are you ok?" He was just sitting on the toilet, not using it, the cover was down and the man was fully clothed.

"Morning. Yeah, just giving Tony a bath," he pointed to the mass of bubbles, "You guys are on your own for the day. It's his day to kidnap me."

"Oh, ok, just checking, use to you being up and downstairs," he nodded, going to the kitchen to see about some food.

X

Unlike the others Tony didn't really want to leave the house to hang out. The fact that it was storming probably had something to do with it. So he just did one of his favorite past times, lay all over Rhodey.

James was just fine with being lounged on. Made Tony all the easier to please. He even fell asleep at nap time with all the kids, how rare was that?

X

Mama stretched out. Tony was currently using his torso as a pillow. He looked to his watch, five pm. He'd slept completely through lunch. Better fix his kids a good dinner to make up for it. He'd cook Tony's favorite, Burger of the Gods, french fries and some orange pound cake with vanilla ice cream for dessert.

X

Tony stretched out. He could feel breathing under his head. Up down, up down. The boobs were far bigger than mom's. He looked up to see Steve, quietly sketching his life away. How did Rhodey do that?

"Finally awake, mama's boy?" The blond looked down when he saw Tony rubbing his eyes.

"What time is it?"

"17:37," Nat looked back at him, "Finally you're up and we can all have a little fun."

"Fun like?" The man raised a curious brow.

X

James sighed contently before stepping to the living room, "The food will be ready in a few minutes, guys. You can eat in your fort if you want, just don't make a mess."

The group had used the couch, chairs and a little string and tape to make a massive fort out of the front room. Once the fort was made, the pyjamas were dawned, the coloring books were grabbed and the hid themselves within.

Mama was happy they were all having fun despite the weather. He'd have to buy some more books and crayons soon.

X

"Goodnight," James gave Nat and Bruce their bedtime forehead kisses before going to prepare for bed himself.

He saw his boy on the bed, "Alright, I think tonight is going to be a cloth night for you."

"It's been a cloth day," he yawned, allowing his mama to man handle him.

Rhodes was a pro at diapers now, and changing liners. With his boy all dry and clean he raised his legs to pull on some plastic bag pants. He was having no leaks on his bed tonight.

"I hate these," Tony pulled at the pants, "They make me sweat."

James just put his pacifier in his mouth and laid next to him, kissing his forehead , "I'm happy you had a good day. I even made sure to fix all my baby's favorites."

Tony leaned into the man, smiling as he began to nod off. _No, mama, that's Steve's favorite. I love everything you cook._

 _Despite my best efforts I still have been busy. So the next couple of chapters might be a little over a week when you get them, but don't worry, I know what they will be written about. Just gotta, you know, write them. And feel free to send me request via pm or reviews. And not just for this story, but for another one I'm currently doing and even for an entirely new future story. Tata. BabyRie_


	19. Chapter 19

Tony looked around the waiting room, blushing and trying to be invisible. Mama had managed to get an appointment for him with Kira's husband for a check up. How thrilling...

"You know I hate hospitals," the man muttered.

"I hate when you climb your butt on counters to get stuff you can't reach instead of asking for help. Had you not fallen I wouldn't have pushed your doctor's visit closer," Rhodes said while reading the magazine.

"Bruce is a doctor."

"So is Alec. They also have in common the fact that their houses are not stocked with all doctor office supplies and an x-ray machine."

The genius just huffed, turning away, shifting some in his seat.

Rhodey started to speak again but paused. He leaned to his pouting child and sniffed, "Tony! Again?"

The man looked off to the side, "Again what?"

James just shook his head and took the man's arm, walking him to the bathroom.

X

"Thanks for seeing us. We know you don't normally do out patients care," Rhodes sighed.

"It's always nice to have people with actual problems and not hypochondriacs, " he checked the papers, "Fell off a counter on to your back?"

"I'm just fine," Tony marked.

"He also has been making a lot of 'oops'," James added.

"Mama!" Tony blushed.

Alec smirked, "I'm going to assume that is a cute euphemism for bowel voiding," he had Tony open his mouth to check his throat, "You've told me that happens once or twice a month, or every other month."

"No, he's had accidents like that maybe six times in two years. But he's had it twice this week. The second being right before we were called here."

"You're not fecal incontinent," the doctor commented, "But with his Sacral being damaged I don't think it's so odd to have occasion bowel voiding as that set of lower vertebrae are connected with our waste eliminating organs.

"Some people who get SCIs can't eliminate by themselves at all, most are like Tony. They just empty out without control. Tony is rather fortune that he's just urinary incontinent," he smiled

"Don't feel fortune," he huffed.

"You're not missing limbs like most people who have bombs go off near them," Rhodes pinched his cheek gently.

"Also," Alec pointed, "Don't use that medicine, it does have that side effect. Asides that, all healthy. I'll call you as soon as I get that x-ray in."

"Ok, thanks," James nodded, taking Tony's hand.

X

"How was the doctor visit?" Steve was sweeping the front porch.

"Well enough," James nodded as his kid sucked his candy on a stick.

"Good," he nodded.

"All seemed well according to the doctor. So you enjoy him and the others," he tossed the bag at the soldier, "Off to work. Give Fury that bag in the fridge please."

"Got it," he grabbed Tony and pulled him inside, "Better get ready for our own meeting."

X

Fury watched as the trio walked in, he saw the group coming in, noticing the bow pin in Nat's hair and smiled to himself.

"Rhodes got you this," Steve handed him a bag.

Nick looked in and smiled, "Gonna have to get him a card. Well we'd better get this meeting underway."

X

"What did mom fix you?" Clint had chicken pita with apple -cranberry juice and three oatmeal raisin cookies.

"Caesar salad bagels, blueberry yogurt, and grape juice," she looked to Steve.

"Last night's steak in the form of a sandwich with cheese, mayo and veggies," he glanced, "peppers, tomatoes, onions, and this leafy - non lettuce item. Grape juice and the last piece of pound cake," he waved it at them tauntingly.

"Why did you get it?" Nat scoffed, going for the yogurt.

"Obviously because I'm the most helpful," he smirked.

Fury walked past, demolishing a short rib cheesesteak sandwich. The trio just stared. Clearly mom was clearing the fridge out again.

X

Bruce lifted Tony's leg and dumped some powder on his rump and crotch, "When do you think Thor will return from Jane?"

"Whenever they're done doing what godlings and their girlfriends do," Tony shrugged, watching the tv, one of his favorite crime shows was on.

"You're going to have nightmares, " the scientist marked as he fastened a clean diaper on him nice and snug, "We should eat something."

That suggestion had Tony up and to the kitchen before Bruce could even put his pants back on him, "Mama left us some cheesesteak," he pulled out two huge sandwiches, "And since others are working we can finish off the pie!"

"Do all army guys go to cooking school or something?" Those apple pies Sam gave them were grand, and perfectly accented the cheesesteak Raven gave the family.

"Hey, friends with benefits are the best," Tony scurried back to the living room, still in a pant-less state.

Bruce chuckled, going to eat his food, "I guess you're right."


	20. Chapter 20

"Real slick," the man commented, walking toward the kitchen, "All line up." The Avengers looked among themselves. Rhodey called back to the kitchen, "I said all up. One at a time."

They glared to Thor and kicked him to the kitchen first.

X

"I call goalie," Clint set up the net.

They decided on playing soccer while mom was at work. Nothing like taking in the last bit of warm weather as autumn was on it way.

"I think we ought to be on a team, soldier," Thor suggested.

"Doesn't give them much of a fighting chance," he chuckled.

"Don't count us out," Natalia smirked and kicked the ball towards them.

X

The game lasted a heated hour before they decided to relax and have a drink and snack.

"You surprise me," Thor chuckled enjoying the Gatorade, "Managing to keep up with the son of Odin rather well."

"Wasn't too hard," Tony smirked, wiping the sweat from his eyes.

The blond godling laughed hardily, "then let us stand and battle again." He kicked the ball harder than intended.

It ricocheted off the corner of the net, denting it, and towards the house. With a flash of light and sound, it smashed through the window, clearly knocking the curtains down.

The air went still among the group. They all stared wide eyed as the reality of what just happened sunk in. There weren't breaths taken for at least a full minute before Steve spoke.

"May...maybe it's ok..." he stared in fear.

"Ok? It's in shards!" Clint glared to Thor.

"Yeah, no joke!" Nat shook her head, "Great, now mom is gonna kill us," she paused and looked about, "Where did Tony go?"

The sound of a car screeching out of the front and speeding off could be heard.

"He just," Steve looked around, "Tony left!"

X

Tony had his foot to the floor as he drove away from the scene. He almost jumped out of his seat when his cell rang next to him.

"Hello?"

"You get back here now!" Steve shouted.

"Look, shut up!" Tony yelled, "measure the window and send me a picture of it. I'm driving to the Home Depot knock off they use to avoid product placement. Make sure nothing else was hit like the tv or forbid the wall or a picture."

Steve looked to the phone and quickly ran in the house, "clean the yard and the window. Remove it now and dispose of the glass. I need a tape measurer."

X

Tony speed to the house, parking crookedly and rushing in.

Clint had just finished making sure there were no shards of glass anywhere. Steve had removed the window and a the the curtain rod.

"Ok, put it in. Clint you know how to do this right?" Tony handed him the window.

The family man worked quickly to place it properly while Steve fixed the curtains.

Soon they had it like nothing happened and just in time for the sound of Mama to land outside.

"Act natural." They all jumped on the floor or couch and cut the tv to the nature channel.

James walked in, "Home," he looked around.

"Hey mom, how was work?" Tony was lying on Bruce.

"Weather well there?" Clint smiled.

James raised a curious brow, "Yeah, work was fine. Weather was a little misty. What did you lot do?"

"Played some soccer, had snacks, got tired and decided to enjoy a little tv," Nat shrugged.

"Right..." he hung his jacket up. They followed him with their eyes as they watched him step to the room and look around, "You sure all was well?"

The way he asked had them shifting.

"Did you know I have security cameras? As well as a system that calls in case of break in? Which sometimes happens via window?"

That comment had them all sweating and they just spilled. Tony being first to tell all.

Rhodes crossed his arms, looking to them all, "I'm not mad about the window, accidents happen, but I don't like that you covered it up and intended not to tell me. That's the same as lying."

He watched them all, "Well since you cleaned up the mess I would have little to really be angry about. But it's still wrong you guys didn't just tell me. Isn't this something you and me have discussed before?" He looked to Steve.

X

"Next," Rhodes called as Bruce walked out, blush on his face that that actually happened. In walked Clint with a grumble, "bend over," Rhodey twirled his finger.

The archer huffed and turned, putting his hands on his his knees.

"Understand what you did?"

Clint nodded, waiting in anticipation. The first blow made him flinch, but the following two he was still and reserved.

"Alright," Mama smiled and rubbed his head.

"That's it?" Clint was surprised to only receive three.

"Hey, you guys cleaned up, fixed the window, do you think I planned on really hurting you?"

"Oh..." he shrugged.

"Well, I got you guys I've cream sandwiches. But if you get one now none after dinner" he called.

"Why were they struck with your palm while I struck with a metal eating utensil?" Thor pouted.

"Doubt you'd feel that," James scoffed.


	21. Chapter 21

"Yeah, all is fine over here," Rhodes was on the phone as he folded clothes, "Got invited to some karaoke and pizza Sunday, so I'm taking the kids and we're doing that. They're excited."

The mother smiled, taking down the diapers and other clothes he had on the line and tossing them in the basket with the dryer clothes, "They've responded well to the exercises. Especially Ladybug. Yeah I put the ribbons in her hair.

"Oh yes, I enjoy having a little girl," he smiled, "She's shopping with some lady friends of mine."

X

"Your hair, is it natural?" Allison asked whilst the women tried on clothes.

"Oh yeah," Nat nodded, feeling rather little with her bunny panties visible in their shared fitting room.

"Those jeans look cute on you," the older woman smiled, fixing the suspenders for her, "I just bought my baby some overalls last week, but these new fashioned ones are very cute."

"I suppose I'm trying a new style myself," Nat looked in the mirror. Mom had pinned her hair back with some white and purple pins to match her pants.

"Kira, doesn't she look precious?" Al took the girl out by her hand.

The woman gasped, "You do look adorable!" She walked over and looked at the little outfit, "These outfits they're making now a days are really cute when they're not just strips of cloth."

"I know, there are hardly clothes now, just barely covers," Allison shook her head, fixing up the girl's suspenders again.

"You can wear suspenders. I love them but for two certain reasons I can't dawn them," the woman looked to her massive breast, "And you look very dazzling in that dress."

Al smiled, "I love these breezy little sun dresses."

Nat looked to the woman, "Thor has such a crush on you."

"My husband said the same thing," she shook her head and laughed, "Young men wanting old women now?"

"Well you are gorgeous," Kira playfully popped the woman on the rear, "And have a fabulous body."

She laughed, "In my younger days. Let's go look at some fitness wear and some shoes."

"Mama invited Alec and I to an after five dance so I need some comfortable shoes," Kira told them as they shuffled back into the fittingroom, "He got upset because he feels I never buy myself anything nice. So he told me he's going to take tomorrow off, kick the children out and take care of me."

"That sounds nice," Nat told her, "Anything planned?"

"He's taking me on a nice drive to a carnival and we're going to enjoy dinner then probably make love before bed. I'm going to make him go to bed early though. He works so hard."

"He does," Allison nodded, slipping back into her pants.

"He's a good husband, I think I'm going to give him an extra good massage when he gets home. Helps him relax." Kira thought aloud.

"Oh, thanks for that tube, Sebastian really enjoyed it," Allison gave a suggestive smile.

"Told you that you'd both love it! Thats one of my favorites."

Nat jokingly scoffed at the women's open talk on their married fun, "You two sure are active with your husbands."

"Nothing wrong with enjoying such an intimate act with someone you love," Allison smiled, "Ok, shoes."

X

"I'm ready for a good meal," Nat stuffed her bags in the trunk.

"I know this place with great southern food," Kira said, "There's also a nice buffet if that's what you ladies are feeling."

"I'm open," Al eased into the car to relax.

"Thirsty?" Kira looked to Nat.

"What? Oh, no, sorry," she didn't realize she'd been staring at Kira's chest again.

"Sorry about what?"

"Staring like Steve," she shook her head.

Kira looked to her boobs and shrugged, "Oh, people stare at those all day. They're awfully heavy."

"They look heavy," Nat turned.

"But I meant were you thirsty for a water. If you want milk I can give it to you a little later."

Nat just gave a glance out the window, "I'm down for whatever."

"Good."

X

The women enjoyed a nice sit down meal, laughing and joking about. Discussing hobbies, interest and such.

"How did you guys come across Rhodey?" Nat asked around her crawfish dinner.

"Buying diapers for my son," Allison decided on seafood pasta for her meal, "I showed him some absorbent ones I use for Raven. I like the one strap ones. And he's allergic to the dye in some of them so I'm very particular about the ones I buy for him. Can't chase down criminals with a rash."

"I met him via the gym I frequent. Then told him I was a fitness instructor," Kira told the little spy.

She nodded and continued to eat while glancing at Allison, "So your son is incontinent as well?"

She nodded with a sorrowful frown, "Bullet ricocheted off his spine so while he was able to regain use of his legs he is incontinent. I just wish he would get a safer occupation or at least come back and stay with us."

"We can't control our children, Al. Trust me it can be an ordeal when they need to stay with you. Ani nearly had a panic attack when he thought we were taking a weekend trip without him. He had to sleep with us," Kira warned her friend.

It was so out of her element for Natalia to have friends who were normal people with normal lives. Made her wonder if she could ever settle herself. The thought of being an at home wife, or a working wife always did leave her curious. But hanging out with these women sure put a smile on her face.

X

Rhodey heard the door open and glanced at the time, "Hey honey, have a nice night?" It was well past five am when his daughter came home with her bags.

"I had a great night. You got my message on staying the night, right?"

He nodded and helped her bring everything in, "Happy you had a nice time."

The woman leaned out the window and waved to the car as it drove off, "Kira filled up your cooler," she handed the man his two gallon cooler of milk.

"Thank you," he took it and instantly got a hug and kiss.

"I really had a nice time, thanks for convincing me to go."

He smiled and kissed her forehead, "no problem. Told you you'd have fun."

"So what did you do yesterday?"

X

"You don't have to," Steve watched Rhodes pull on his gloves. He had the bathroom all set up for the task at hand, "It's ok, really."

"Look, I change diapers of a grown toddler minimum of twice a day, and that's only because I have some help," Rhodes made sure the bucket was properly leveled, "This is no big deal to me."

"It is to me," the soldier shifted bashfully. Unfortunately for him mama knows the symptoms and signs of constipation and he had an old fashioned solution.

"Ok, pants off and bend over," he pointed down, pouring the warm tea in the bucket along with some water.

"I'm ok," he reassured, "Really."

"You almost burned a hole in the couch," he scoffed, "Told you that you were eating too much protein. Messed your stomach up."

James looked to the man and tested the hose, making sure the flow was proper before applying lube to the tip, "I have plenty of experience in these from my mom giving me one every other month from six to twenty-two." He shook his head.

"Sounds...unpleasant."

"Look, it's either this or the magnesium citrate. This will clear you out at one time, that will take two to six hours to work and a whole day before it stops. Trust me. It will burn, and you won't be able to eat or drink anything as it will reactivate it. You remember that time Clint tricked Tony."

Steve looked to the door, "I know..."

"Then bend over the tub and bite the towel if you need to," Rhodes readied his weapon.

X

James shrugged, "Mother stuff as everyday."


	22. Chapter 22

"He's sure had a lot of meetings lately," Bruce ate his apple slice as he and Tony sat and colored.

"Don't worry, normally when he works this long he comes home and we have a really fun family day," The genius smiled, coloring in his dinosaur, "How was your day with mama?"

Bruce smiled some, "I really enjoyed it."

He and mama had went to the Greek museum. It was really cool. They stayed most of the day before grabbing a meal and going home.

Rhodey was making sure he got to spend some alone time with everyone if possible. So no one felt left out. So far everyone had a turn, but Tony was still the most needy.

"Thats good," he nodded, "I can't wait until he gets home."

X

Rhodes stealthily flew overhead. He was looking for the hostages of war. He scanned the buildings and found the one his target was hiding in, along with several hostages. A little thought and he was quickly able to lure the guards out and in dispose them.

"Hate to interrupt whatever you have going here but I think we have a disagreement." Suddenly his helmet began ringing, causing him to flinch. The screen displayed Tony of course, "Excuse me. What is it baby, mama's at work."

The men all looked between each other as Rhodey spoke.

"I don't know when I'll be home. Maybe late possibly early tomorrow." A pause, "Look, I'm at work I'll have to call you back. Yes. Yes, I love you too. Alright, bye." He turned attention back to the terrorists, "Now then."

X

"We should do some for ma," Bruce rubbed his chin, glancing to the time, "We should call the others and see where they are."

X

"Hey Bruce," Nat spoke over the earpiece, "Nothing too heavy today, should be home before dinner."

"What's lover boy calling for?" Clint asked, securing the area as she hacked away.

"We're supposed to do something nice for mom," she told him, "So we're gonna grab some food on the way. I'm thinking Italian."

"Olive Garden to go?" Steve asked, "Maybe some Red Lobster?"

"I like that second option, crab pizza." The archer smiled widely.

X

Rhodes didn't make it home until well past 11. He was ready for a shower, maybe a bite and bed. He fully expected all his kids, but Tony, to either be in bed or relaxing. Their work can be just as trying as his.

"Welcome home," Steve met him at the door and took his jacket and war machine briefcase, "We have a surprise for you."

"Oh please tell me it can wait until morning, I'm kinda worn."

"We worked really hard," he pushed the man, "Go take a shower and come back to the front room, I think you'll like it."

James sighed and just stepped up the stairs to wash. Hopefully whatever it was it wouldn't take too long to show him.

X

The mother stepped from his room, nearly seeing double, "Ok, kids, what's up?"

Natalia handed him a plate of food and pointed to the couch, "Sit here and enjoy the show."

He sat and smiled at them. Clint cut the lights and Steve carried out a cardboard booth. Soon as it was set up Clint took a flashlight and aimed it at the felt curtain.

Out popped a dog hand puppet, "Today's feature is called: The adventures of super mom!"

James chuckled and ate his linguine as the group switched puppets.

A chicken on a stick raised to the sun and Clint crowed at the sun, then a puppet of Rhodey was shown in an apron cooking breakfast and making lunches.

"Wake up, my children, time for breakfast!" Nat sang out, making James laugh at how she was him.

Out came a cutout photo of the Avengers on a popsicle stick, they all talked at once and made the photo eat a picture of pancakes, eggs, and sausage.

Soon as that happened the puppet kissed the Avengers before going under the stage and becoming a war machine action figure.

"Off to government business." That time it was Steve on Rhodey's speaking part.

The puppet flew around shooting bad guys, which Thor voiced, and all. Rhodes laughed hardest when a pile of money fell on his puppet. Now that was great.

"And Tony cried a river of tears when mommy left. And what Avengers he didn't drown in them he finished off by burying them in his pissy diapers," Clint pretended the avengers were falling under the stage, "Ow, you son of a!"

"Clinton, language!" Steve scolded.

"He punched me!" He grumbled.

Within a few minutes the show had ended and they were getting a round of applause from half dead mommy.

"Did you like it?" Bruce asked.

"I loved it," he gave them all hugs and kisses, "You brats make me feel so happy and loved."

The gang enjoyed an affectionate group cuddle before they all fell asleep in the livingroom.

X

Steve stretched, nuzzling into something soft. He assumed it was a pillow but cracked an eye to peak. It was green, fuzzy and firm. A different shade than James pillows. Lighter.

He opened his eyes all the way and noticed a toothy smile . The blond raised his arm to see what he had. It was a grinning stuffed gator.

"Aww," he chuckled and sat up holding it, "Cute." He figured Tony gave it to him as he slept, "You giving me your 'gator, kiddo?"

Tony looked up from the couch, "Huh?"

"You're alligator. Want me to have it?"

The genius looked, "Oh no, mama got that for you. He went, but he'll be back soon. Everyone got one."

Steve looked again to his then peeked at the others'. Thor had a kangaroo nested on his neck like a scarf. Clint had a lamb, Bruce the cliche teddy bear with a ribbon. Nat's was the cutest. She was cuddling a stuffed blue alien, Stitch.

"When did mommy get these?" He looked up.

He shrugged, "When he got off yesterday. He said tonight we're having a movie marathon since work has been killer so to pick all of your favorite old creature features. I called 'The thing'.

Steve rolled his eyes, "You're going to have nightmares."

"Nothing out of the ordinary," he shrugged and popped his bottle in his mouth.

X

"Is mom home yet?" Clint looked out the window, "He should be here!"

"Think he needs help?" Tony grabbed his iron briefcase. Just as it started to encase him the sound of repulsors beaming down could be heard.

"Alright," the man entered, "I got the pizza, cheese sticks, and wings."

"We were getting worried," Clint helped take the food to the front as the suit folded in, "Are you going to put pants on or happily display your green birds?"

"Don't like them?" Tony asked pulling his shorts on, "It's because they're not purple, isn't it?"

"So, Swamp thing, The Thing, Them, Empire of Ants, uhm," mama checked the bag, "Freaks and It. So are we ready for nightmares?"

The gang settled in and looked at the big screen as mama put the first movie in and sat on the couch.

"Everyone got their stuffed friend?" He looked around. Everyone, with the exception of his blankie boy, had it, "Movie night starts now."


	23. Chapter 23

"Tired?" Fury looked to Rhodes.

"You have no idea," he rubbed his eyes, "I have your brood, which aren't trying to leave. They've been at my place for at least 2 1/2 months now."

"Tony's nightmares subside any?" He sipped his coffee and offered it to the young man.

James took it and sniffed, "Still drink it black and bitter?" He poured some hazelnut flavoring in.

"You know I hate hazelnut." He glanced.

"Tony's nightmares are up and down. Nat had one. I woke up crushed between her and Tony."

He chuckled, "That bad for my girl?"

"Seemed like it. She was curled up behind me," he finished off the rest of the cup, "They're gonna be the death of me while you sit there chortling and smiling. And what mission were they on the last two days? Better have been indoors because only one took his coat!"

"You're scaring me now," Fury grabbed himself another cup.

X

Bruce was reading Jurassic Park as he heard Tony begin swearing loudly. He rolled his eyes at the boy's tantrum, "What's wrong, Tony?"

"Stupid piece of sh-t won't boil!"

The self-sufficient genius set his book down and walked in the kitchen to see what the fuss was, "Didn't mom say you weren't allowed in the kitchen?"

"I want hotdogs. Jarvis! What's wrong with it!?"

 _"Maybe you should nap sir, you sound distressed. Or perhaps a bottle to calm you?"_

"I think Jarvis is right. I'm going to fix you a bottle and you relax," Bruce went in the cabinet and took out a seven ounce one with teddy bears.

"But I want hotdogs!" His eyes started watering from frustration.

Bruce raised his hands, "Easy, easy. I'll make them," he switched the pot from the simmer side to boil, instantly starting a rolling boil in the water.

Tony's eyes nearly gave way when the man just pat his head.

"Don't pout," Bruce got the food for him, "What's wrong? Do you need a change?" He set the plate down and checked his nappy, "Use your words."

He sniffed and grabbed his stomach, "I...want mommy."

Bruce placed a hand on his flushed cheek, "Ok, just relax and I'll get him on the phone for you."

X

"Ok, thanks I'll be home soon," he hung up and sighed, "Baby is sick."

"Sounds like quite the quandary," the director signed some papers, "Your paperwork is all done now. Want to check it over before you rush into your nurse's uniform?"

"You got jokes today," he stepped over and skimmed the profile, "All seems good to me. Well I'd better head out, I don't think Bruce is well equipped to handle a sick baby Tony."

"See you later, James," he waved.

"Good bye," he pulled his keys out and hurried.

X

James looked to the thermometer as his youngest sat wrapped in blankets, shaking and sniffling around his pacifier, "99.9° F." He shook his head and walked to the pantry.

Tony pouted, watching the man move.

"Open your mouth," he shook up a bottle of medicine. The man cringed slowly opening his mouth and making a face when he swallowed the foul liquid, "I know," he sighed and rubbed his head.

"Probably just a mild cold," Bruce marked, looking at the sulky boy on the couch and leaned down, "Told you to get your coat." He whispered.

"Shuddup!" The man glared around the pacifier and huddled to a corner of the couch.

"Don't start with that fuss," James scolded.

X

Within no time the other Avengers arrived. By that point Mama had sent Bruce to get him some more medicine and penicillin. He always liked to have that on hand.

"Hey guy..." Mama could see Nat looking a bit peckish and Clint wasn't much better off, "No." He rushed over and put a hand on both their cheeks.

"What's up, mom?" Clint turned slightly away from the man's hands.

He shook his head, "Great. I want spy one and two in pyjamas and back in here so I can take temperatures. "

"Told you he'd notice," Nat commented.

"He's worse than Laura," Clint hurried upstairs to get in a shower.

"No comparison," she shook her head.

X

James had tea on the stove next to the soup. He had all the temperatures and Bruce came back with the medicine so everyone's throats were on fire.

"I feel ok," Clint cringed, smacking his lips, "Just focus on Tony and Nat."

"Gonna throw me under the bus?" She glared.

"If I can," he nodded.

"He's sleeping right now," Mama stepped over his baby snoozing on the floor, "So both of you have all my attention."


	24. Chapter 24

"No, they are not coming in today," James said into the receiver of his phone, "One has been vomiting, another has gotten to know the toilet well, and the last left a huge wet spot in my carpet... oh yeah plenty of running noses." He laughed some, "Yeah they're leaking from all ends."

"Happy there's something to laugh about," Clint was parked on the couch with a bin next to him.

Over the past few days their fevers have gotten a little higher. And more symptoms had emerged. Which meant poor Mama was really suffering.

"Alright," he turned the humidifier on, "Anyone think they can stomach some food?" He got Clint hurling into the bin as a response, "Well then I'm going to get you guys some more ice packs and tissue."

X

Didn't take but three hours for mama to get them to sleep and crash into his chair. It'd been like this for 8 hours solid. He needed a break. Or a nap or to beat Steve into helping condition, jerk has gotten lazy and thinks he's not going to help.

X

Rhodes gasped, jolting awake when his phone started ringing, "Hello?" He looked into the phone, "Excuse me but I have sick kids, I'm not coming there for anything."

While Rhodes was on the phone Steve and Bruce were playing cards.

"Don't you normally help mom?" Bruce set down a green 3.

"Normally. Wonder how long Thor is off for," he pulled a card.

Both men suddenly flinched hearing Rhodes shouting into his phone. A lot of which they were sure they should probably pretend they didn't hear.

"His language is rather...colorful today." Steve marked.

Out came the man, looking very frustrated indeed. And still on the phone, "This is my last day coming in. You may not have the privilege of having kids but I do and I like to be there when they need me!"

The man huffed and grabbed his jacket, "Steve, Bruce, I'll be back in a couple hours. One of you is a doctor and should know how to deal with flu." And with that he was gone.

The two men looked at each other and went back to their games.

"It's gonna be hell on Earth when Tony wakes and realizes that his mommy isn't here," the blond set another card down.

Bruce shrugged, "I expect it, but mom gave him and the others nearly lethal doses of Tylenol so I don't think they'll be waking up before he comes back."

There was no point of him even saying that. It's always been a cue for the exact opposite to happen and as always it was Tony, waking up, groping around for water.

"Tony? That you?" Steve set the cards down, "Better change him, he's a waterfall when sick."

"He's a waterfall when awake."

Tony was sitting in the kitchen falling asleep as he chugged a bottle of water.

"Alrighty buddy," Steve took him by the hand, "Let's get you changed before you leak again."

"I have to use the toilet," he jumped up, running to the bathroom.

"You ok, Tony?" He hurried after him. When the door slammed in his face he was sure that Tony wasn't well when he heard the noises of death and turmoil he backed away.

"How is he?" The doctor walked over.

"He's traded places with Natasha and has diarrhea." He raised his brows.

"They should be getting better soon. They've pretty much purged their bodies in most normal ways. If they're not better within the next two days we might want to get them to a hospital." Bruce heard the toilet flush and watched as Tony walked out.

"Where's mama?" He searched around.

"Well..." Steve shrugged.

X

The blond rubbed his surrogate kid's back as he sniffed and silently sobbed. At this point Tony was actually doing better but he just wanted James there.

"What's wrong," he sighed, rocking him some, "Your tummy still hurting?" Tony just shook his head, "Want your bottle?" Head shake, "Want mommy?" A nod. He sighed, "Yeah me too."

By this point Nat and Clint had woken and we're drinking broth as Tony refused food and cried.

Mama quickly burst through the door, "I am so sorry. I stopped and got you two some of chicken, mashed potatoes, biscuits and baked beans," he set the bucket down in the kitchen and hurried to check his sick ones.

"Their fevers have gone down and they're feeling better now, Tony is just being clingy," the doctor pointed.

"He's awful when sick," the man rushed over, checking Tony's head, "There there, you're ok. You're looking better already." He watched as the baby opened his arms, "I'll hug you when you're better, I'm not in a mood to be sick," mama kissed his forehead.

That didn't help him feel any better and just leaned into Steve's chest more, hiding his face.

"What about me?" Super soldier asked.

"I'm fixing you a plate now," Mama heated some more chicken noodle soup up and washed his hands.

X

Two more days of mild sickness and the trio was gaining color.

"Fevers all gone," Clint sat aid from his hot shower, "I'm so happy he's not one of those home remedy types,"

"Hydrogen peroxide in the ear isn't a home remedy?" She scoffed while brushing her teeth, "Heck, chicken soup is a home remedy."

"You know what I mean. Maybe he'll let us leave tonight if we prove we're well."

"We've been cooped up for a week and a half, I sure hope so. I'll go ask," she wiped her mouth and went to the living room, "Mom?" No sign of him.

Nat decided to check upstairs, "Mom?" She quietly stepped to the man's room and smiled when she saw him passed out, "You get your rest. You deserve it."

I'm still going somehow :D. Preparing to write another story, would you guys like a Logan/Victor story- I have two in mind or A Slenderman story?


	25. Chapter 25

"Finally some fun time out of the house!" Clint smirked and looked to Bruce, "So where are we going? Will there be some drinks? For us adults that is. You'll be in kiddy corner."

The doctor shrugged, "Well I did promise the little boy that I would come visit him when you guys got better. I can't break a promise like that, now can I?"

Rhodes smiled, "I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun. Whilst we have fun with the rest of the family," he smiled, "So, what day are we going over there? Allison wants us to come visit her and her family one weekend."

"Ree? Was that his name? He invited us over Friday morning to join him and his family," he stirred the meat.

"Rie, you know, like rye bread," Tony corrected him as he sketched out some plans for another suit.

"Friday?" James looked to the kitchen, "Friday morning?"

"Odd name, but they are foreign. Yes, this Friday," he nodded, today he had opted to make dinner, "Something else planned?"

The man cringed, "You told him we'd join them for their Family Friday. Do you know what Family Friday entails and why he wants us there in the morning?"

"To spend a full day with them?"

"I need to make a call right quick," he grabbed his cell and dialed the a number. After a few rings he had an answer, "Hello? Hi Alec, I'm not calling at a bad time now am I?" a pause, "I'll be brief. Bruce agreed with Rie for us to join you guys for Friday morning…" another pause, "...And that's ok with you?" he laughed some to whatever was said, "Ok, well, if it's ok with you and Kira. I'll call her next."

"If it's something of a hassle we can always change the day," Steve suggested.

James held up the 'wait' finger, "Hey Kira, you know Rie invited us over Friday morning, right?"

"Oh yeah, I know," she nodded, "You aren't shy, are you?" she teased, "Well if you are you can come around 10:30, by then we'll just be having breakfast. If not come around 8:30 or 8 am. Alec doesn't mind as he trust that you have no ill will and even if you do you're too smart to act on it."

"Your husband is quite the saucy one, isn't he?" he laughed a little, "I know none of you are bashful. I'll see if the kids are actually awake at that time and we'll come early. Steve will probably just relax on the couch or go for a jog. He's exceptionally bashful."

The blond just stared as his name was used multiple times. Now what was this guy talking about him?

James hung the phone up and shrugged, "Ok, what time do you guys want to go? 8ish or 10ish?"

"Any idea what we'll be doing?" Nat asked.

"Movies and games. They like video games and dancing. They're also pretty fond of food and wine," he shrugged, "But they have a lot to keep us occupied. And if not we'll decide what to do while there."

"I say we go early," She suggested. All truth she was eager to see Kira again.

"Anyone else have a say?" mom looked about. Everyone shrugged, "Guess we'll go early."

"Mother of Stark," Thor, who had recently returned from several days with his woman, called, "When shall we go to Allison's home for a visit?"

The mother just gave him a mildly chiding look.

x

"I still feel it's rude of us to go in Pyjamas and change there," Steve commented from the backseat. He never left the house in his pyjamas unless emergency or to get the mail. The idea of going to someone's home dressed like this was just shameful.

"You are such a killjoy," Tony marked and drove on, "I can't wait to get there. You have gotta see their snake room," he told Bruce.

"Snake room?"

"Well it's really a reptile room, as Alec loves them, he kinda collects them and has a whole room of them to himself. Oh, and you will love his art room Steve. Huge window for you to look out of while you paint. He normally plays instrumental music as he's in there."

The blond rubbed his chin, "I think I can come to like them. Very cultured couple indeed."

"Why did you need permission from both parents for us to come on 'Family Friday'?" Clint leaned to the mom.

Rhodey shrugged some, "Well, they come from different cultures than us and tend to do things different than us."

"Us Americans?" The Archer snickered.

"Oh Alec is American," he nodded, "But they still do have their own traditions."

"Can't wait to see what we're in for," Nat smirked. She had talked to Kira and was pretty sure she knew what Rhodes knew.

x

"So this is what you can get off a doctor's salary?" Steve looked to the small mansion, "Pretty big and in quite a ritzy little neighborhood."

"Yeah, like Tony subtlety isn't their strong suit," James knocked on the door.

A few moments went by before it swung inwards and a blonde and black haired young man stood there in cheshire cat briefs, "Oh hey, you guys made it."

Clint raised a brow, "You dyed your hair?"

The man shook his head, "No you're mistaking me with daddy. I'm Ani, the oldest. Come on in," he opened the door for them.

Steve was a bit uncomfortable with the young man being in his underwear and nothing else. Maybe that had come too early and he hadn't had a chance to get properly dressed either, but still he was a bit old to answer the door like that.

"Bruce!" Rie ran and hugged the scientist/doctor, "I'm so happy you were able to make it."

"Told you we would," He smiled. The boy was just in a pull up.

"Mommy, daddy! They're here," He shouted to the basement stairs.

"You guys just woke up?" Bruce chuckled, "You and your brother are a little underdressed."

"Actually we kept clothes on as not to startle you lot," Ani smiled and leaned on the wall.

That comment had Steve really uncomfortable. That was hardly noticed once the parents made it up the stairs. Kira was wearing a tank top, clearly with no bra, and some boy shorts. Her husband was wearing a pair of underwear that might have just been hers with their cut,

"Oh my goodness!" Steve instantly turned away.

"I told you to go watch some tv," James rolled his eyes, "Ok, where is this bathhouse?"

Clint and Bruce looked to each other, stammering some as Steve didn't even bother to say something as seven shades of red flashed across his face. Kira just hugged Nat and lead her to the bathroom, as Rie lead Bruce.

"So we get a taste of culture?" James joked.

"Yeah we like to do the Japanese thing," the white haired man told them, "The showers are for actual washing but the tub is for relaxing and enjoying eachother's company."

He opened the door to a large bathroom. It had four small benches with the same number of shower heads and buckets. Each shower head was only about four feet off the ground, but were removable. Below them were shelves with soap, shampoo and towels. Apparently extra had been laid out for their guest. As well as a hamper set next to the door.

The Raphael family simply took their clothes off and strolled past the shower heads into a spacious drop in, whirlpool tub. The gang hesitated for a moment but the first one to get undressed was Thor, Nat had started but Thor had done this before with his friends and saw this as an invitation to be closer friends.

Once Thor got undressed Nat followed, as did Mama, Clint and lastly Bruce, who minded his eyes.

"We all showered last night," James told the family as they slipped into the bubbling water.

Tony smirked, "Nothing like naked time to relax and enjoy family time, eh?" he looked to Bruce earning a subtly disapproving glance.

"The blast of water on the son of Odin's lower half is very pleasureable," Thor spoke, "The things you Midgaurdians create are rather amusing. My comrades and I have enjoyed an exhilarating soak at the hot springs on many an occasion but it's never bubbled as if to boil us. This is indeed fun."

"Oh we've been to hot springs before, it is incredibly fun," Alec spoke, "The hot stones were great for the back," he turned to his wife, "We should go again."

Clint eased against the stone of the tub, "So you guys do this every friday?"

"Oh yes, we've been doing this since before we had Ani," Kira told him, "It was our little way of spending just a little time together, as we lived with family and both worked so we hardly ever got to spend time with each other. It wasn't always friday but we'd have one morning where we would wake early, enjoy a bath together and then a breakfast and just talk to each other so we could make sure we were ok," she took her husband's left hand and kissed it.

Alec squeezed hers in his palm and kissed it several times, "When Ani was born we just kept the tradition going and him and his brother's really enjoyed it."

"Some would find the idea of a family taking baths together from birth to adulthood risque," Tony eased into the water so that it was to his shoulders.

"Some people can kick rocks," Ani shrugged, "We're not those weirdos who have romantic or sexual feelings for family. Heck, Rie is completely A-Sexual. And there is nothing wrong with nudity in the privacy of your own home. People just like to look for stuff to nit pick."

"Thats true," James nodded.

"What is 'A sexual'?" Thor looked in confusion.


	26. Chapter 26

"So this is your collection?" The archer looked at all the reptiles, "Quite a beauty."

"Thanks. I have to keep it limited due to the fact that I'm not an animal hoarder and mildly sane," he smiled, "Here's my green iguana Isaac, my Rosy boa Aries, and my King snake that Ani named Nya."

"I remember catching them in the yard growing up," Clint smiled.

"I normally found garter snakes," Steve looked at the various cases, "What do they eat?"

"Pinkies, mice or rats. Sometimes eggs," the white haired man said as he walked to the largest encasing, "This baby is Asmos. My Burmese."

The men watched him pull the large snake out and allow it to wrap around him.

"How come it's green?" Tony was use to the yellow ones on tv.

"Because he's not an Albino," Alec said simply, "would you like to pet him?" Clint hopped up first to stroke the animal with the others soon following, "A mouse wouldn't suit this handsome fella so he normally gets rabbits."

"Could make a whole line of fashionable items from him," the genius smirked.

"Could also feed him for six months off you," Alec smirked back and set the snake in his cage, "You guys like video games, movies, cards?"

"Still not too clear on video games," Steve said, "But cards sounds fun."

"Everyone else?" He looked around and saw some shrugs, "We'll do the cards first then branch out."

X

"Swerve, swerve!" Tony tried to help Steve turn the controller as the poor old man nearly crashed into a wall.

"What button is swerve!?" The blond looked to his controller confused.

"The joystick and the top right button," Alec's oldest said.

The gang laughed as they sipped their punch. Steve had gotten better but the racing game might have been rather fast pace for him. Before this everyone had done some virtual sports which they all enjoyed. With all that it was well past noon.

"Take my controller, I have to make lunch," the white haired host handed it off to Bruce and stepped to the kitchen.

Bruce wasn't the best at these types of games but that made it more even for Steve.

Round three was coming up when Alec stepped back inside, "Ok, chips, crab and artichoke dip and grapes." Weird combination but that's ok. The dinner was still in the oven so they'd have to deal.

"After this we should play the other kinect games so we can move around," Kira set the next games out, "I call the heroes game."

"Alright just two more games, I'm finally getting the hang of this," Steve smiled, making it to 5th place.

"Congrats, this is the highest you've been without Tony," Mom teased as he turned.

"I'm a quick learner," he smiled back.

Soon as that fame was over the played the game Kira had chosen. A lot of fake fighting and dodging apparently. That worked for the physical lot. They needed to stretch out.

"We haven't decided on a movie for dinner." Nat skimmed the movies.

"What's playing at the drive in?" Kira called.

"Some spy movie, anyone want to see that?" Tony asked.

"But what about the food?" Bruce preferred a home cooked meal.

"We can bring it," Alec checked, "The drive in we go to allows outside food."

"I think that sounds awesome," Clint commented, trying to beat Tony and Ani in their current fighting game.

"I'm down for that," Rhodes nodded, glancing to the clock as he called to see what time it was.

"And so we have our movie," Natalia commented, leaning into the reclining chair.

X

The ride home after an eventful day was nice and calm. Everyone looked forward to bed after all that. The movie was great, they enjoyed themselves some plates of meatloaf and veggies as well as jello.

Meeting normal-ish people and becoming friends was nice. Yeah as far as they were concerned the family was either mutants or experiments, but they were still a lot more normal than half the others they knew.

"Did everyone have fun?" Rhodes covered a yawn, making sure everything was locked up as the kids got relaxed in the front for a moment.

"Yeah," was said in unison.

"What did you and basket case do when you disappeared?" Tony glanced to his fellow scientist.

"Anthony! That is not nice!" Rhodes glared.

"Sorry," he shrunk in his seat some.

Bruce shrugged, "He just gave me a tour of the house, told me about what it was like in his head and asked what it was like being split. Then after we talked on our mental states we joined you guys. He doesn't do much seem like a basket case to me. But then again he's well medicated."

"I know I better not ever hear you call him that again, brat," the mother wagged his finger to his "youngest", "I'm happy you all had a good time. It's nice to see you make friends with people whose life aren't always adrenaline rushes and danger."


	27. Chapter 27

Thor looked as Tony stormed out of the house, hoping in his car and going for a drive. Steve slowly emerged from the basement looking around.

"Where did the he go?"

"He appeared unhappy and went for a ride in his car," Thor told the man.

Steve scoffed and left to go find the brat presumably. Leaving Thor alone in the house, he sighed and went back to practicing his writing.

x

Hours went by before Steve returned empty handed. He huffed and stormed into the house, slamming the door closed, "Tony!"

"He still hasn't returned," Thor told him, "What is the current situation?"

"That brat thinks he can just say whatever he wants and it's going to end just dandy and well for him. Well it isn't. He's being very incosiderate again and I'm not going to deal with it this time." he took his phone out to call him.

"What is going on?"

"He's being an absolute rude brat," he ended the call and just went up to his room to cool down.

Thor took a moment before going up the stairs to see what was wrong with the man because he was a little more than upset and maybe a vent session would help him get some things off his chest.

Steve huffed, changing into his exercise gear.

"Where are you going?" the godling asked.

"I'm going on a jog, I'll be back later," he tried to walk around him but was grabbed.

"Speak to me, Soldier. What's the matter? Has Tony been any more rude than normal?"

He glared at the man, "He clearly can't tell when someone is trying to care for him other than James. He wants to accuse someone of ulterior motives. So thats fine, he can deal with his own daddy issues by himself. I won't try anymore."

"Harsh words from such a level headed man," Thor looked down, "Is there something you're feeling and projecting to Tony?"

Steve scoffed, "I want to leave now." he tried walking past him again but Thor wouldn't budge, "Move."

"With my younger brother being who he is I consider myself well verse in telling when there is something more so to what's being shared with me." That comment made Steve scoff.

The godling crossed his arms, looking down to him. Steve just glared back, "I don't have time for this. Move."

"I'm sure you have done something to irritate him just as he does you, as most of the times there are two sides to these things," Thor shrugged and stepped aside.

"Yeah? If you're so good at fingering out people's problems why didn't you help Loki long ago? Before he became a psychotic murderer?" Steve glared as he began to walk past.

The godling looked appalled and grabbed the man, lifting him off his feet onto his shoulder.

"What?" Steve clenched his teeth shut as he felt Thor's hand slam against his rear, "AH!"

"Just because you are unhappy with the bickering between you and Tony gives you no right to take it out on me!" he slammed his hand into the seat of Steve's jogging pants again, "Instead of just be angry you should talk with him."

"Put me down!" he kicked in panic.

"He clearly respects you to be of assistance to you as much as he is," he swatted him again.

"Doesn't seem like it!"

"It seems all rather obvious even to me. The way he clings to you and tries to make things more comfortable for you and all of us. Even manipulating the large ship so that Fury turns without him moving." he slapped away.

Steve winced, pushing at Thor's shoulder to be released.

"When he returns you shall talk to him so you can properly express yourself, rather than simply be angry. Suppressing things is simply not healthy," he set him down.

The second his feet hit the ground Steve quickly left out with a sigh. He knew Thor was right about everything. Things were just a bit rough at the moment.

x

Tony returned home a mere few hours after Steve had took his leave. The man looked about for a moment before walking down to his lab.

Thor had apparently been left to babysit Steve with Tony's disappearance. The inventor seemed a little hurt to find the soldier not there.

"Tony?" Thor called down the stairs. He slowly continued down, noticing him not on the level, which was odd. He continued looking and found another set of stairs sending him even further down. Oddly deep home the mother had.

"Are you down here?" The godling peered around a corner, "So this is your lab from your tower?"

The genius merely sat in his chair, twiddling his pen.

"What is the current argument between you and the soldier?" He leaned into the wall.

"He's a jerk is what it is," Stark scoffed, "Speaking down to me as he does. Should've left him at the bottom of the ocean with the tesseract."

Such a comment had the demigod taken a bit a back, "That's not a nice thing to say about such a dear friend. What would make you say such a thing, especially when you don't mean it?"

"He is a jerk! He can't accept that things and people are just different. Everything changes!"

"Stark." Thor started towards him.

"What? Now you're going to do it as well? Talk down to me like I'm a d mn kid!? Or like I'm someone's disappointment? F-ck you too," Tony glared off.

The son of Odin was apparently just a target for people to throw their own anger and negative feelings at. But he would not accept being spoken to in such a manner from anyone. He grabbed Tony, snatching him up from the chair and bending him over his knee.

Tony knew this position too well and instant kicked up a fuss to get off.

"You and him are slightly more alike than you think," he swatted his bottom, causing him to audibly yelp, "The son of Odin shall not have that language slung at him," he swatted again, a little more gently, remembering Tony was a pure human and not a super one as Rogers.

"Such anger over one person leaves me to wonder what exchange happened between you both, but regardless the matter it certainly left hurt feelings." he brought his hand down several more times despite the man's protest, "You would make more progress if you spoke to each other instead of mope about."

"Do you even know what you're talking about!? How do you know? Your only experience is a certain genocidal maniac," he kicked and pushed, eyes welling.

Thor popped him harder for that comment, "I may not be able to control my brother but I can learn from my mistakes. And I know, despite his behaviors I do still love him. As I know he will not admit but he has proved himself to love me. Just as you and Steve share love for each other."

Tony squirmed and pushed, "Let go!"

"When the soldier returns you talk to him properly and prove to not be a child," he set him down before making his way back to the first floor. He would be no one's scapegoat.


	28. Chapter 28

Tony groaned, rubbing his bottom. Why was everyone always hitting him!? He sniffed into mama's pillow as he just lay pouting in his bed. Where did Steve go?

The blond panted, having gotten a good workout and was half melting. He wished Nat and Clint hadn't gone to visit Clint's family again. He wasn't sure how he felt about being alone with Thor and Tony right now. Especially with his rear throbbing.

It couldn't be helped and he knew by this point Tony really needed a change. They had just figured out why, other than being in soiled diapers too long, he kept getting rashes. No need to get back to those dark days.

"Home," Steve pushed the door open, looking around to see if anyone was home.

"Oh good, you're home," James saw him, "Come here."

Steve winced, feeling he was in for another lecture or round of smacks. He sighed and walked over, fully prepared to plead his case. Before he could even open his mouth he received a warm hug.

"I don't know what happened but I know you're both having a bad day," he rubbed his hair back, "I know this is also a very bitter week for you both." Steve looked down, "You hurt Tony's feelings and I know him always needing to have a retort hurt yours."

"I just don't know what to do with him sometimes," he shook his head, hugging Rhodes.

"So you think you haven't been being good enough as it is?" he asked, "Tony doesn't want you to be his dad. All bets off, his dad was an alcoholic dick," he told him, "You know Tony adores you."

He sighed and nodded, "Yeah, I know he does. I'm going to go talk to him. Thanks for being such a great mom to him and me."

"Everyone needs someone," he kissed the top of his head, "Now go on, he's pouting in my room."

x

Steve knocked on the door, "Tony? Is it ok if I come in?" he leaned his ear to the door to see if he heard anything. Nothing so he walked in and saw the genius on the bed, "Are you ok?"

"I guess," he muttered, sitting up and looking down some, "Where'd you go?"

"Looking for you the first time," he crossed his arms, "Not gonna lie, I wanted to find you so I could give you a good kick in the butt."

The 'younger' man just averted his eyes, he would have deserved it.

Steve sighed and walked closer, "But I'm sorry about what I said. It was inappropriate," he rubbed his arm.

"I….I'm sorry I said I hate you," he muttered, "I didn't mean it…I…" his eyes began watering.

Steve quickly wrapped arms around him, "I'm sorry I got mad at you. I know you didn't mean it."

"I am sorry," he sniffed into him. This had been a bad week for Tony. The week his parents died. He was missing his mom and just recalling how much of a disappointment to his dad.

It was just as bad for Steve as he had really respected Howard but Tony had basically laid it on the table what his father really was and it just was too much for him to take. He had respected the man and to suddenly get into a silly fight and hear all this threw him for a bad loop.

"I'm sorry I compared you to your dad. You're a better man than him because you were able to change yourself for the better," he rubbed his back and kissed his forehead.

"So you don't hate me?" he sniffed.

"What is with you thinking everyone secretly hates you?" he sighed, rocking him some, "I could never hate you."

x

"What are you cooking?" Thor leaned over the mom's shoulder, inhaling aroma.

"We are having chicken parmigiana," he stirred the pasta, "And tomorrow we'll be having pot roast and I'm going to make you guys some more shakes for dinner."

Thor smiled in a giddy manner only a smile similar was seen when he thought they might see Allison, "To what do we owe such a tasty meal to?"

"Oh we're having a special guest tomorrow, Poptart."

"Will it be one of your club members?"

"No, but you'll see," he set the top on the pot, "Would you gather my other two monsters please?"

x

Things were still a bit tense for a few days but thankfully no one took it out on anyone.

"Why do you keep glancing at the clock?" Tony asked from his coloring book. He needed the intricate one to keep him more relaxed.

"I'm expecting someone soon," he changed the channel to cartoons.

Tony just glanced at him for another moment before going back to his coloring, "When do you think Bruce will return?"

"Whenever he wants, I guess. He never quite told me where he was going, just that he was going to visit other friends," Rhodes scanned his book, "Maybe I'll learn a new trade, like knitting. Alec does that."

"Alec was raised by his grandmother, of course he knows how to do all that," Tony muttered.

"True," he shrugged.

"Where was his mother?" Steve glanced over.

The bell rang as Rhodes started to speak, "We'll talk later," he stood to go see to the door.

"Do you think it will be the woman. Allison?" Thor smiled, a little antsy, "I wouldn't mind learning her dance again. I've been practicing."

Steve and Tony both gave him looks, both different. Steve's was a minor scolding look while Tony's was a bit of a smirk.

"Tony, there is someone here who wants to see you and Steve," Mama called.

"Is it a pizza guy?" Tony muttered, grabbing his cherry marker.

"Nope, it's Grumpy cat, Ironbabe," a familiar voice said.

Tony gasped dropping his marker and running to the door, "Bucky!" he hugged him tight, "I missed you!"

Steve hurried over, "Hey Bucky! Welcome back!"


	29. Chapter 29

"Wow, so this is mama's new house?" Bucky looked around, "It's way bigger than his last one. Way bigger."

"Yeah he even designed it to have two basements," he leaned and whispered, "Technically three but the lowest one is a panic room of sorts. Shh," he put his finger to his lips, "Come on, I want to show you our rooms upstairs."

Bucky smiled as he was pulled by the hand, following his baby brother.

x

"So you knew he was coming back and kept it a secret?" Steve smiled, "This is why you planned such a big dinner, huh?"

"Oh yeah, I knew everything was tense so I figured a distraction would be great. He had already planned to come I just told him to let me know when so I could give him the proper ability to get to my house."

The blond smiled, "I think it's nice to have him back, He couldn't have come at a more opportune time." he sighed, "Where is he going to sleep? I didn't see a vacancy sign."

"Where he loves to sleep best, with daddy," he waved a hand, "Well I'm going to read a book on gardening. Thinking about getting a greenhouse behind my place."

"With the cute sun hat and all?" he snickered, "And the adorable gloves with flowers? Oh thats precious."

"Laugh it up, you love when I cook my sweet potato pie," he flicked him before walking upstairs to his computer.

Bucky came down the stairs past his mom, "Hey daddy," he nearly crashed into Steve, "Come look. I brought some pictures to show you," he smiled and tugged him along to the front.

"Alright, what did you bring me?" he smiled and sat on the couch while the boy mounted his lap.

"Mama gave me a scrapbook thing before I left and I did it," he showed him the book, showing him all the pictures from his travels, "I knew you'd like this," he pointed to a picture of him in Berlin.

"How did you get there?"

"I'm good at traveling under the radar," he smiled. That and his little brother had given him some cash, "We have to go traveling some day. And take Tony. He needs to go somewhere and just have fun instead of analyze everything."

"Isn't that the truth," he looked through the pictures.

"I had fun."

"I'm sure, the most travelling I do is job based and it kind of sucks the fun out of it." he smiled, happy to have his little buddy back and acting as chipper as he's always remembered him, "Think you'll ever cut your hair again?"

"I want to, it's rather bothersome at time," he scratched his scalp, "And it gets hot too."

He chuckled and looked through the pictures.

"I finally got to try alligator too. Mama was right, it's so good!"

"I could've told you that," Tony looked to the pictures, "How many places did you go?"

"Three really. Germany, Australia, and Canada. I went to Canada first with Logan and Victor," he smiled.

"Another fun road trip?" Steve smiled.

"Super fun. I can't wait to visit them now that I'm back. And I want to see Sam too!"

"You can visit all your friends now that you're here," he smiled and rubbed his head, "Want to go visit him now?"

"Yeah! Can we?"

"I don't see why not," he stood and walked to the stairs, "We're going to visit Sam. Coming?"

There was a pause, "Why don't you guys go visit him. I'll visit later. Don't forget Tony's bag."

"Will do," he grabbed the bag and both his boy's hands before leaving.

X

"Looks like Winter Soldier is back," Sam smiled and let the trio in.

"Yep, just in time for the changing seasons,"Steve joked and rubbed his hair back.

"Daddy's back in business," the pilot teased and patted Steve's back, "Coffee for us two and juice for the kids?"

"Maybe I'll have a juice myself."

X

Bucky smiled and showed off his pics to Sam. The man nodded and smiled, hearing the boy go on about the foods he'd eaten and the sights he'd seen.

"Sounds like a good time. I'm going to take you to New Orleans. The Cajun cuisine is grand, and with your pallet you would be in heaven."

"When can we do it?" He smiled widely, "Oh. Do you like dogs?"

"Dogs? Yeah, love them. Why?"

"No reason," he smiled, "How have you been? Still jogging in mornings?"

"Yeah, gotta keep in shape and compete with daddy small ss there," he smirked.

Both Bucky and Tony snickered and looked to Steve who rolled his eyes.

"You do have a small ss," Tony laughed.

"You're just mad because you're Falcon big butt," Steve shrugged.

"Well...ok…."


	30. Chapter 30

Bucky smiled as he packed a bag. It was great to visit Sam yesterday, but today he was gonna go visit a couple of good friends of his. Maybe see if they could come over later back to Mama's house. He already got the green light, he just had to get them.

"Hey Bucky do you know where mama went?" Tony leaned into his brother's room.

"The store, he said. The others are coming back in a few days and he wanted to get his errands done beforehand."

"Oh." Surprisingly that wasn't the sound of disappointment, Tony wasn't too fond of running boring errands with people, "Where are you going?"

"Visit Logan and Victor. Show them that I made it back for a little while and see if they wanna hang out."

"Can I come? I don't want to be alone," he pouted.

"Sure, get your diaper bag and we can go."

Tony quickly went to gather it, making sure he had enough diapers. Well knowing Bucky they would probably be there all day so he decided to take a few extras just to be on the safe side.

"How we traveling? I know not by foot unless you want to carry me."

"It wouldn't bother me to carry you, " he shrugged, "But I have my bike so you can hop on back of that. Unless of course you want to trail behind me in air."

"Thats an idea." He nodded and went to get his Ironman briefcase.

"You ready?"

"Yeah? Do you know how to get to their house?"

"I have their address. I figured out how to get here, didn't I?" He smiled and left the house first.

"True," Tony locked up.

X

"So this is their real home?" Buck looked to the one level flat, "Seems kinda old fashion."

"Makes it even more perfect, huh?" Tony knocked hard several times.

It was still for a while, even after they knocked again.

"Did you call to see if they were home?" Tony reverted back into his suit to keep himself warm.

"Well no, I just assumed."

Tony rolled his eyes, "Jarvis, can you call Logan please?"

 _"Hello?"_

"Hey Logan, where you guys at? We wanted to visit."

 _"I'll be there soon. Like 20 minutes. Victor isn't there?"_

"Doesn't seem like it."

Logan rolled his eyes, " _Alright."_

"See you soon," he ended the call, "Logan will be here soon. Bet you I know where they keep their extra key. "

"Ok, where?" He crossed his arms impatiently.

Tony peeled the suit off and reached into a pot, pulling out a key to let himself in.

"Question: Why let us wait out here for twenty minutes if you knew where it was?"

He shrugged, "Seeing if they'd come. Mama said I needed to work on patience."

Buck rolled his eyes, "You're a brat," he followed him in, "Where do you think Victor is?"

"I'm not as close to Pussy cat as you are," he looked about and sat on the couch, "Wonder if they have cable," he turned the box on and checked, "Ohh, DVR. Any porn?"

"Stop that," he scolded his little brother, taking the remote and turning to cartoons for him.

"I was just joking," Tony took the remote and looked for movies.

Buck shook his head and tugged his brother's pants, "Are you wet or...dirty?"

"That was one time," he marked.

"Yeah, but mama said you did it recently."

"I guess I have no privacy anymore. And no, I'm perfectly ok," he pulled away gently, hearing the door open.

"Oh, Stark. What's up?" It was Victor, "Hey Buck! Happy so see you're back."

"Thanks. Been traveling. Brought you guys some stuff," he reached in his satchel, "For you," he took out a bag of peanut chocolate wafers, "Wait, no that's Logan's. " He reached in again and pulled out some German candy bars.

"Oh, my word," Victor's eyes glowed when it was placed in his hand, "I knew there was a reason I liked you," he hugged him, quickly ripping one open and munching.

"How do you like it?"

"I think I want to make love to this," Bucky knew the secret of him and Logan's sweet teeth, "Is there rice in this?"

"Yep. Got it in Germany. And they had delicious sweets!" Bucky's eyes rolled back, "Australia had some of the most tasty treats. They called them all lollies."

"Yes! I've been to Aussi county before. They're candies are unbelievable," Victor nodded.

Tony watched them go back and forth. He was a baked goods guy. Partial to cupcakes and cake.

X

In no time Logan came in and saw his brother, "Where were you at?"

"Out. You?" He looked over.

"At the bank, getting cash, " he narrowed his eyes, "Does 'out' have an address?"

"Want to frisk me again?" Victor asked in Russian.

Logan glared, "Just behave yourself," he marked marked in the and language, "Hey Bucky."

"You know I speak Russian," he smiled, joining in the language, "What's with the questioning? "

"Jimmy thinks I'm being naughty," Victor said in English, with a very dismissive air about him.

"There have been some break ins recently. "

"I said I didn't do it the first three times that you accused me, what do you want from me?" He rolled his eyes, "Asides that's not even my style."

He glared, "so how were your travels Buck?"

"They were great," he smiled, "Got you some chocolate peanut butter cookies," he handed them over.

Logan looked them over, opening the bag and munching at one, "Holy cow," he looked to box and ate more.

"Give me one," Victor reached. his younger brother scoffed, munching away at his cookies, "Give me one."

"Is that how you ask?" A familiar face stepped into the flat.

Tony sat up, "Hey Bruce. This where you hide?"

"Occasionally. " He nodded, "I inherited the other guy's pets so I should occasionally check up on them."

"Oh ignore Brucie boy, he loves coming here," Victor snatched his brother's cookies.

"Hey!"

"Haven't you learned to share yet?" Victor handed him one of his candy bars.

 **Hello my darlings, sorry I missed yesterday I just got a second job and I was a zombie. I'm at the end of the prewritten so I want to know from you, my fans, do you want one chapter a week now or three every other week. If you want three every other week it'll be a crunch, as I don't get breaks, but I'm going to be honest with you: There are only going to be about 20 more chapters.**

 **When this ends I will be uploading the winner of the last poll I did. So that's also the reason these have been kinda crunched- writing two things at once. Alright, I'm done rambling. Enjoy and PM or post your choice!**


	31. Chapter 31

Tony watched as the guys did stupid manly things. Currently they decided to do a push up contest, and that was after a race around city which Tony had to fly after to see who won. These guys could sure jump and climb.

"Why don't you guys just take your shirts off and compare muscles like normal meat heads?" The genius rolled his eyes, "Or whip the out and compare size. Guys do that, don't they?"

"I lost track of how to gauge manliness in 1960," Logan scoffed.

Victor wiped the sweat from his brow, "What else you pups got?" He smirked. He was pumped now.

"How about some food?" Bucky suggested. He had left before breakfast.

"Sure," Logan shrugged and walked to the kitchen, "What you want? Beer? Leftover spaghetti?"

"Sure," he smiled and followed him.

"Still use sippies?"

"They are pretty fun," he nodded and grabbed a plate to get the food.

Tony merely snuck away to get to the basement, where he enjoyed relaxing. The little man cave was all nice and well kept. He didn't think they were down there often.

"What are you doing?" Logan peeked down, "Hiding?"

"Obviously not well," he snuggled into Victor's giant bear.

"If he sees you on Jason he will flip sh*t," Logan warned the visitor on his brother's stuffed bear.

"I see why he loves this thing," he hugged it's fat leg, "It's so cuddly and soft and….smells like you guys. In a good way."

"You saying we stink?" he scoffed, "What you down here hiding from?"

"You guys and your 'my junk is bigger' contest," he stretched out.

He scoffed and sat in his comfy chair, "Well we can't all just make silly toys like you."

"Silly?" he laid out all his items, "This isn't silly, it's science. Just like your mutation," he pulled one of the gloves on, "It's all science."

"All sounds silly in my head." he shrugged, leaning on the couch and watching the man work, "What are you even doing?"

"I'm doing a balance on the energy distribution and consumption of, look," he stopped himself, "It's very technical."

"Yeah, very," he rolled his eyes and watched him.

"I'll save you the time," he raised the armored glove and tightened a bolt.

"Tony!" Bucky gasped, making his brother flinched. Without him realizing it he had pointed the repulser in Logan's direction, "Thats dangerous!" he pulled the glove off.

"What?" he pushed at him, not sure what he was saying.

Buck took his arm and quickly took the glove off him and slapped his brother across the rear. Tony gasped, grabbing his bottom and looking to his brother wide eyed as his brother wagged a finger at him.

The younger man pushed his brother and ran up the stairs holding his bottom, "Bruce!" he sobbed, "Bucky hit me with his metal arm!"

"He was doing dangerous stuff!" he jumped to chase him.

Vic jumped out the way, "What happened?"

Logan shrugged, "I think Bucky thought he was trying to shoot me…"

"Not like it would kill you," he scoffed.

"Thank you for your concern," he rolled his eyes.

x

Bucky crossed his arms as he stared at the corner. Apparently he was to receive a timeout for jumping to conclusions. Well, regardless, he was almost done and could hear some silliness going on behind him.

A ding of the bell and Bruce called, "Ok, you can come out."

The man looked to his brother and just went back downstairs to his friends, "How about a game?"

"Good suggestion," Victor smiled, sitting atop his brother's stomach, "We just got some more."

"Had a fight without me?" he teased.

"Not so much a fight as his fat butt sitting on me," Logan groaned and pushed at Victor.

x

A good fifteen minutes went by before Tony slid himself back down to the basement to join in the festivities. It was still funny to believe that the feral brothers had so many fun games. But they were alive when most of this stuff was invented.

Tony tossed down a blue three, "Guess you guys have nothing to bet?"

Logan scoffed, "You need more money?"

"You can always bet some snacks," Buck smirked.

Vic gave him the raised brow look before tossing another card in, "Jimmy can bet his stuff."

"Jimmy isn't betting a d mn thing." Logan retorted.

Tony prepared to say something when his phone went off with an alarm. He looked down and tsked, "I gotta call a raincheck. Time to work," he jumped up and went to get his suit.

"What work are you doing?"

"Stolen blueprints, little stuff that you wouldn't be into," he waved a hand and hurried up the stairs, meeting up with Bruce before they left.

"How does he know what 'my style' is?" the metal armed man scoffed and picked up his brother's cards before tossing them down.

"I swear he cheats," Logan looked.

"How do you cheat at uno?"

x

"So what blueprints are we looking for?" Steve asked Nat, "And why are all of us needed for this? This doesn't even seem like something the three of us are needed for, let alone all of us six."

"I just follow the orders I'm given. Just like you," She commented, "Says that this area is heavily armed, hence why we're all needed."

"I see no one," Thor told them, twirling his hammer.

"Anyone in the air?" Steve called to Tony.

The suit flew around several time, scouting, "I...apparently have something on radar, but I don't actually see anything. Well I was called from some fun for nothing apparently."

"Seems so," Thor agreed and noticed some movement in the bushes, "Stark."

"Yeah?"

"You said you can't see them?"

"Yeah….Wait….Oh shi-!" he dodged a flock of drones, "They're visible now, they are visible!"

"Hey," a dude smiled as he came from the bushes, and then many more appeared all around them, "We can take it easy, or have some real fun."

"I prefer the easy route where you return what you stole," Steve told the man.

He smiled and the attack instantly began from all angles. The group spread, continuing to battle on land. Tony was busy trying to fight off the series of drones.

As they fought Clint noticed something. The guys they were fighting were all the same person. Every single one of these guys were the same person. Same clothes, same hair everything.

"Anyone else noticing anything-" he choked as a mist began to appear among them all.

The men all dawned gas mask as the Avengers coughed and quickly began dropping one by one.

With them all down the men slowly began disappearing until about seven still stood, "Sorry about that, but had to wear you guys out. The fog works a lot faster with a racing heart." he looked up to the sky, "Now for fly boy."

" _Drop him_ " rang through the drones.

The command was confirmed and the robots began to attach to him. Tony groaned as he was pulled down by weight. He used a time old trick and flew up as high as he could, expecting himself to drop them due to cold. What actually happened was he hit a force field hard enough to knock him back to Earth by absorbing the impact and redirecting it back to him. Thankfully the drones stopped him from hitting the ground hard enough to hurt anything.

The man stepped over and looked to the suit before grabbing his walkie, "Got 'em all boss."

 **Sorry, I'm at two jobs now and when I'm not working I'm trying to do stupid adult stuff and to make matters worst I JUST broke my tablet so I can't even write at my primary job until I get it fixed. I got some random inspiration on how I want to end this and the voted story is coming out nicely. I'll also soon be uploading a collaboration story as well. See you guys next week hopefully.**


	32. Chapter 32

Steve blinked awake and looked around, his vision still blurry but soon it adjusted. He jumped up in a fight ready position and looked around. He was in some type of glass enclosure. It looked like a bedroom and he could see his team mates through a lightly tinted window at both sides and directly across from him.

Nat was to his left and Clint to his right. The man was laying in his bed staring at the lights above him while Natalia was looking about the room she was trapped in when she noticed Steve awake.

"I see you've awoken." she commented. Getting drugged was nothing quite new to her so her and Clint woke rather quickly. As did Tony for that matter.

"Guys," Tony looked at his sleeves.

"We're all here apparently," Bruce said from next to Tony's enclosure, "In some zoo."

"Is everyone ok?" Steve asked, composing himself as he scanned their containment area.

"The son of Odin is not an animal to be caged as such!" Thor growled, banging on the glass that hardly shuddered.

Steve sighed, "Tony? You ok?"

"No," the man sniffed, "We weren't wearing these clothes."

He raised a brow, not sure what to think of a statement before looking at his own clothes. He was wearing light blue t shirt and matching pants, what he assumed to be loungewear, and no shoes. It almost reminded him of when he woke up in Shield's hospital.

"Well, you're not wrong," Clint agreed.

Tony just put his head in his hands.

"Good morning," a man walked out with a large smile plastered on his face, "Sorry about the hassle. Murdoc was very well behaved today though. I just had to praise him on his self control. He's a bit...well...he can lose control. But he is what I needed."

The gang looked to him as he talked on.

"Oh, I'm sorry. My name is Jeremiah Marks. Murdoc is my cousin and, well, no one else had patience for him. But I have plenty of patience for him," he smiled, "And I am your biggest fan."

He looked at them all, "Well you are the avengers. I have all your merchandise," he smiled, "Unfortunately it just wasn't enough. It took me a long time to construct this little area. Over a year, which to me is a long time.

"But as you can see I've taken liberties to get you all some comfy clothes in your sizes, which I vigorously researched. And some nicely furnished rooms for you. Bathrooms are a little more private."

"Sheer curtains are private?" Nat scoffed.

"This isn't a jail so yes, I consider that private."

"This is exactly a jail. Even worse, it's a zoo," Bruce glared.

The man shrugged, "Sorry, life is full of tradeoffs. Well I do know you're all quite resourceful. But I hope you guys are otherwise comfy. I got you guys some nice comfy clothes, and speaking of which," he turned to Tony, "You were a bit harder to counter."

Tony groaned at that comment.

"Oh, hey, I don't judge, everyone is weird. I'm still a fan. I just had to get someone to get you some supplies I figured you would need." He pointed to the corner of the room, "I actually needed to get another assistant to get those for me as I have no idea how to shop for that. But the rest of you I was happily able to get items to accommodate you."

"Except freedom." Steve crossed his arms.

"No, but plenty of books. TV time twice a day. A guarded exercise room, as well as three meals a day and three snacks. Plenty of recreation to keep you guys entertained." he smiled again, "Please let me know if you need anything, or Murdoc. Your meal will be ready soon."

With that the man took a happy stride out. It now hit why Tony was so upset that their clothes had been changed. At this rate his secret would be about as well known as his name.

"So. This is great," Clint looked about, "At least the beds are comfy."

"There you go, look at the glass half full," Nat commented from her bed. At least the guys had pants. She had shorts, which normally she wouldn't mind but there might have been a not so innocent want for her to be in shorts.

"Yeah, half full. How are you over there?" Steve looked to Tony as Thor bashed the glass again.

"I've been better," the man climbed into bed and laid on his stomach. He needed to think for a minute or two, "You try hulking out, Bruce?"

"Several times," he nodded, "It's not breaking."

"Well, Hulk proof. That will be quite the challenge."


	33. Chapter 33

Tony grit his teeth as he attempted to fasten the straps onto a fresh diaper. His straining caught the ear of Thor, who glanced to the man.

"Are you ok?" he looked at him through the glass.

"This is h3ll!" He tried to tug the strap just a little more before it ripped off the diaper entirely. Tony's eyes just watered in frustration and he huffed, flopping on to the bed.

It had been a whole day and Tony was ready to kill someone. It was a long time before he actually decided to change and congratulations to him, the dolt got him actual toddler sized diapers. There was a minor issue considering the differences in bone structure and size. This was the third diaper he'd ripped just trying to be fresh.

"Troubles with your needs?" Thor glanced.

"I need mama!" he complained, "He knows what size to get me!"

"Do you really not know even the most basic things, Tony?" Clint glanced over, "Like your clothing size?"

"Please don't start," Steve sighed, looking around, "We ought to be thinking."

"Lunch time~!" came a singing voice. It was Murdoc with his multiples, "I brought you guys some tasty treats!"

"Oh joy, at least we get to be full and captive," Nat smiled as the man pushed a plate of food under the little slit in the enclosure.

"Great isn't it?" he smiled and continued passing out the food.

"Where is fanboy at?" Tony glanced to the man.

"How would I know? Probably wanking to you lot."

"That's great to know. Who bought these?" he held up the diaper, one of the ripped one.

He shrugged, "Not sure. I'll send him to you with a word on that." he gave Thor is tray, "Enjoy your salad, jello, and chicken." he waved before leaving with his clones.

"He has great bedside manner," Bruce commented, sniffing the food.

Tony stamped his foot and turned away, "Well, to say the least, this is still the best place I've been held captive."

Nat and Clint tilted their head in agreement with him. They both had been recently held captive.

x

"Hello, my lovelies!" Jeremiah walked in and looked about, "How was lunch? I put croutons and dressing on the side as I had no idea what you guys preferred on your salads."

They mainly glared at him. None really responding to his commented.

"Is there any suggestion for dinner?"

"Mead and bore meat," Thor commented, twirling his hammer, glaring at the glass.

"I will look into that," he smiled, "Everyone else ok with that?"

"Sounds gross," Tony looked to the man.

"Well I can get something else made for you," he smiled to Tony, "And how are the diapers? Did you like the little ironmans that were on them?"

"Speaking of little, did you read the size chart of the bag?"

"What bag?" he looked then nodded when he saw the man hold it up, "Oh. Well...no, the woman said it was the biggest they had…"

"It says 35lbs!" he tugged the pants down to point to the super tight, groin crushing thing he somehow managed to get on, "I'm clearly bigger than that. See these red lines? Those are from circulation being cut off!"

Jeremiah looked truly hurt to see and hear that, "I'll get someone on that right away, Mr Stark," he whipped his phone out, "Murdoc?"

" _Yo."_

"I need you to make a store run."

" _In the bathroom, what am I going to the store for?"_

"Diapers for Ironman," he looked to Tony as he groaned.

" _In the bathroom, using the toilet like fly boy can't."_

"You'd better watch your mouth," he growled into the phone, "Get to it, we need on that's big enough for him. The huggies aren't big enough for him."

The man rolled his eyes, " _Oh fine, I'll go when I'm done here."_

"Please do. He's very uncomfortable," he hung up.

Murdoc scoffed, "I'm suppose to be worried?"

x

Jeremiah rolled his eyes, "He'll be getting those for you right away, Tony. I'm so sorry about that mistake. Can I make it up to you?"

"You can let us all go and it'll be water under the bridge."

"Oh I couldn't do that!" he shook his hand as if in shock at the very idea, "You guys are collector's items. And I'm your biggest fan."

"Biggest creep," Clint tapped in morse, making Nat give a nod.

"Now, now, no need to be rude," he turned to Hawkeye, "Maybe a snack will help you out? I'll get right on that," he smiled and hurried out.

The gang watched him go.

"Funny how happy he is to appease us. We might be able to work with that."


	34. Chapter 34

Murdoc grumbled as he walked into the enclosure, his cousin following, well, more so trying to walk in ahead of him.

"Good news Mr. Stark! He was able to find you some more. He got these awesome ones with your cool suit on them!" he pointed to the package that displayed Tony's ironman suit on it, "Aren't they cool?"

"Aren't they still for kids?" he rolled his eyes.

"What?" he looked to the package, "Murdoc these have kids on them. They aren't adult sized!"

The taller man merely gave his cousin a look, "He can fit these."

"Go get him some right sized ones!"

"One: I don't know his weight. Two: NO! I am not dragging my butt back to the store. He can fit these, they say up to 100lbs!"

"If he says he can't fit them then he can't!" Jeremiah stamped his foot at his cousin.

Murdoc glared down to him and grabbed his neck, "I have to do everything myself."

This started a fight between both men with a button around the smaller one's neck being pressed and opening Tony's door.

Murdoc split into three, "Lose the pants," all of them walked towards a wide eyed Tony.

"Rape…" the genius backed away.

All the copies grabbed him, one by the arms, lifting him off the bed and holding him in the air as another pulled his pants down. This as now the Avengers and Jeremiah were shouting at the mutant.

"All his ss is hanging out of this little thing," he ripped the package open as his cousin jumped on his back and began hitting him in the head, "He looks like he's about to do a creepy Chip and Dale's routine."

A clone grabbed the diaper case Tony was using, "It says 35lbs+ how did you expect this to work?"

Jer looked over, "Well...It had ironmans on it…"

"You're an idiot," the one he was on commented, "And if he can fit into that somehow he can fit these," he touched the tape and the entire nappy ripped and fell off.

"Let go of me! Rape! Aids!" Tony kicked at the man's stomach and chest.

"You're making him uncomfortable!" Jer hit Murdoc again. This time he reacted by pushing him off, into the glass door.

The mutant managed to pull Tony's legs through and yanked the pull up on him, rather roughly, before dropping him and tossing the pack into the room with him.

He saw his cousin glaring at him as he closed the door back, "What's your issue? Hurt your head?"

"You hurt my head and made my guest uncomfortable, you bully!"

"Well you hurt my head, and made your hostage uncomfortable too," he scoffed.

"You are an utter jerk! I should have let you rot in jail!" the black haired man stamped his feet.

"Sure. Call the cops and tell them you've been housing me for months and let them in on your little fortress where you have six superheroes held captive, see how well that goes for you." the black haired man laughed.

Jeremiah was not pleased with being laughed at and kicked the man in the back. That made the man whip around with a scowl and hurry up on him, pinning him against the encasing of Thor. Jer looked to him in fear as he raised his hand as if to slap him. He quickly covered his face.

Murdoc glared, putting his hand down, but pointing a finger at him, "Hit me again and I'll beat your ss. D mn brat." he pushed away from the encasing and began to walk off.

"I am not a brat! You are a bully!" He glared at him before going back over to a Tony's case, "I'm so sorry about him. Are you ok?" Stark just laid on the ground, holding himself and not looking at the man, "I'm really sorry. I'll talk to him about it. I'll make him apologize!" he ran off.

Soon as he was out of the enclosure the others looked to their fallen mate.

"You ok, Tony?" Bruce asked. He got a full view of the guy being rough.

"No! I am not ok!" he sobbed, holding his groin, "That d*ck just squished my balls!"

x

About forty minutes later the mutant huffed, stomping into the enclosure, a box in his hand and twitch in his eye.

He went right to Tony's enclosure, "Sorry if I was being rough with you. Jeremy's a defenseless little so and such that doesnt seem to know how to do things himself. But I'm sure you know about that, don't you pampers?" he pushed a tray under his door with a smirk at Tony's glare, it having a Burgerking meal on it. With Tony getting his first he gave the others theirs and left.

A minute later Jeremiah came in with a red cheek, "I read that you really like Burgerking," he looked in, "It being the first thing you got when you returned from Afghanistan. So I got you guys this for a snack. I hope this makes up a little for that brute."

Tony just glared at him, "This doesn't make me feel any worse at least."

Jerem smiled happily, "Good, I'm going to make sure you all get to have a much better day tomorrow."

"How long do you plan on keeping us here?" Steve glanced to him.

"Well forever of course," he smiled, "I'm sure in time you'll grow to love it!"

X

Fury paced for several minutes, looking to the map. No bings at all.

"Director Fury you have someone-" the secretary strained as she was pushed aside and Rhodes stormed into the office.

"Where are my children?" he fumed over to the director.

"Currently we are looking," Fury walked passed him to close the door, "they went on a simple extraction and we lost contact with them shortly after they left."

"Where was the contact lost?"

"Somewhere in the plane trip over the Atlantic. Our pilots just managed to get back today. They say there was an electric storm. Autopsy of the plane verifies..

"Your ships are made to be immune to electric surges." Rhodey tapped his foot impatiently.

"That they are. Now you see my quandary."

James crossed his arms and turned away.


	35. Chapter 35

Steve ran on the treadmill. Guarded gym was right. He looked at the large men standing at the door. Clearly more mutants. Fanboy really planned this out.

X

"Your turn," he walked into his enclosure from a back room.

"Great," Nat walked out, she needed to inspect things herself to get a good idea. And some exercise was good for getting stress off.

Thor glanced to Tony. He was meddling with his ankle.

"When were you branded?" he looked to the tattoo on him.

He looked down and shrugged, "Good question. Probably one of the times I got drunk."

Clint chuckled, "And you only have one?"

"I had one that said Indigo at one point," he shrugged, "So what's the plan?"

"Wait for shield probably." he shrugged.

"This will take forever!"

"Can't you hack something?" Steve suggested, "You're good at that."

"True. But as you can see there is nothing to hack yet."

"We'll have to think while waiting for the Calvary." Steve nodded again.

X

Days went by at a snail's pace. At least a week and a half. By this point it was morning and Fanboy was nowhere to be found. Odd since they normally would be having breakfast by now.

"Hungry," Tony called to the hall, "Any food?"

There was silence for a moment before racing into the enclosure came Fanboy pushing the food trolley.

"Sorry for the wait," he quickly delivered their food.

"Where is your cousin?" Steve looked.

"Out dealing with some things." he commented.

"No overly optimistic banter?" Natalia looked.

"A bit busy," he rushed out, not even grabbing the cart.

X

"Strange things," a man radioed in as gunfire could be heard.

"Then do something about it!" Jeremiah shouted into his walkie. They were mad if they thought they were going to break into his place and get away with it. He looked to his cousin, "Go have fun."

Murdoc smiled and walked off, multiplying himself.

x

Steve looked up as the ground shook lightly, "Sounds like things are getting rowdy."

x

The sounds of clashing was something amazing. Fist pounding and grunting.

"NRGH!" Logan wiped his chin, "Yeah, this is great," he pushed back up and hurried back into the fight.

"Got some more?" one of the mutants smirked with fist ready.

He sent his claws out and took a running start to him.

x

"Got a count yet?" Victor smirked and slammed one of Murdocs into a tree.

" _Six. Remember Victor, no killing!"_

"Says you? Ha! Hypocrite!" he pummeled three more between the punches they landed on him, "Also I'm on ten."

" _Oh yeah?"_ a cheery voice sang, " _Eleven."_

"How!?"

" _Screw you Bucky!" Logan said over the earpiece._

The metal armed man smirked and continued laying siege onto the army of mutants coming at them.

x

"Please ignore the noise, my dear collectibles, we're having a few issues with pest," Jeremiah said over the intercom in a forced sing songy voice.

Clint smirked, "Wish I could see what's going on here."

"Sounds freaking awesome," Tony complained as the building shook again and bullets were heard, "Wonder if it's soundproof out there but not in here…"

x

The fight outside was going strong. Murdoc's copies were happily laying into the supposed saviors. It was time to finally get some suppressed stress off in the form of caved in faces.

As he had fun Jeremiah was losing patience quickly. Allowing his cousin as main security was do to his power to seamlessly call an endless amount of copies of himself but this was taking too long for him. He watched on the security camera and made a split decision before pressing a purple button on the dash.

A hissing was heard by Victor before he caught a whiff of staleness in the air, "Sh-t!" he ran through the copies, dodging them as best he could.

Logan had barely noticed the noise but smelled the same thing. Unfortunately he was midfight with some Neanderthal chump.

The guy laid a hard punch into his diaphragm, sending him to the ground. The mutant stood, popping his claws out again before suddenly being grabbed by the waist.

"The h3ll!?" he reflexively elbowed whoever grabbed him.

"That was my stomach!" Vic coughed as he ran with his brother under his arm and his shirt over his face.

Bucky, who was further into the island began coughing and covering his mouth and face.

 _"Move Buck! Gas!"_ Logan shouted into the earpiece, coughing himself.

The winter soldier ran towards the building, coughing with each step as his vision blurred. Just as he was about to fall over he was swooped upon and grabbed.

"Alley oop," Falcon quickly flew him towards the building, "Victor! Think fast!"

The older mutant looked up as his metal armed friend was slung down to him. He managed to catch him and toss him over his shoulder and ran into the building, some of their opponents following them.

X

Bucky had his hands on his knees and panted as they managed to get inside. The need to continue fighting wasn't so eager since the henchmen were currently coughing, hyperventilating and fighting loss of consciousness.

"First one to find where they are," Logan started, "triple points."

"Sounds like a deal." Buck coughed, looking to the two.


	36. Chapter 36

The building was a labyrinth. It was unsure of whether or not this was a safety protocol in case people might wander in. Needless to say he had thought things thoroughly enough.

x

"Man this sounds good," Clint kept his ear towards the door as fighting could now be heard, but very distantly.

Tony tried to listen closely, "Hey Fanboy! Connect us to the monitoring system so we can see!"

"I'd rather help," Steve stood antsy in the enclosure.

x

Bucky panted as he fought the odd guard coming, "How many people can this guy afford!? And why doesn't Tony do this?"

"Good question! Suggest it to him!" Logan called in a reply as he diced some guy's gun.

Victor had managed to get furthest, because he was the writer's favorite. With his nose to the air he was able to catch faint traces of something other than blood and sweat.

Fanboy's Henchmen seemed to be busying themselves with keeping the other two at the door so Victor was able to sneak around majority of them before getting to a side room.

"Lo and behold," he smirked, seeing all of the Earth's Mightest, "Weirdest zoo I've been to in a while."

"Hey, Pussy cat, get us out," Tony waved him over.

"Do not call me that," he looked around the encasings as he tapped the earpiece, "Triple points boys."

"Oh that's bull sh-!"

"You did absolutely not find them! I'm barely past the entrance!" Bucky complained as he punched a man in the face.

"Well I got triple points," he smirked and examined the glass, "Come find me."

"And what do we have here?" A voice spoke from the entrance to the room.

"Looks like an intruder," Another told the first.

Victor looked to the two large figures. It was the gym guards.

"Holy sh-t! Hans and Vahns are still alive and still on every steroid!" the mutant looked to the two.

One looked to Victor then to his coworker, "Look, Juri, it's Ray Donovan."

"No, Todd, It's Cotton from Scream," the other spoke.

The Avengers looked to the mutant with a pondering gape.

Clint smirked, "Hey, you do look like them."

Victor paused looking between them all, "...Are we going to fight or what?"

X

"Ah!" Juri shouted and cupped his fist to his chest as the glass shuddered against his dodged punch.

Todd snatched the cat by his shirt, only managing to mostly rip it off before Victor clawed him across the eyes.

Victor was having a great ole time until one of the giants kicked him into Nat's glass enclosure. A loud snap echoed into the hall as he fell to the ground limp.

"Quite the fighter, yet still quite mortal," Juri walked over, kicking him several times.

"Is he still alive?" the other twin was holding his eyes.

"Doesn't seem like it. Let us quickly give aid. If you can."

"I'm fine."

X

Victor gasped back to life. He looked around and began to remember where he was.

"Ah, ng," he turned onto his stomach before tapping the walkie, "Where are you guys?"

"Following your odor," Logan and Bucky finally got most of the guards out of the way.

"Two giants are here," he pushed up and groaned as his spine snapped properly into place, "Broke my d mn back!"

"And I'm sure you caused some damage."

"Don't think one will be using that arm, other might be looking like a pirate."

"Still alive, are you?" the taller twin, Todd walked in with a cloth wrapped about his eyes.

Vic gave him a snarling smile, "And more ready than ever for round two."

 **Hello, still alive. Tablet has returned. Any last minute request send them in.**


	37. Chapter 37

Logan jumped on Todd's back, "Get the h3ll offa him!" he growled. No one kicked his brother's butt but him and he wasn't about to relinquish that privilege to some roided out creep.

Victor didn't mind the help, his back was still sore from being snapped in half. Bucky was holding Juri outside of the room. Unlike those two he had guns. But was out of ammo. So now, very much like them he was using a blade.

"You're being a pest!" Juri shouted at him, bringing his fist down.

As it prepared to make impact the lights to the building cut and the sound of engines revving and screaming could be heard.

"The show was just getting good!" Clint complained as the doors in back on their cells opened about fifteen inches off the ground.

"Better crawl," Nat easily slipped out and into the hall, the others in close pursuit as the growling and fighting could still be heard going on in the main entrance to their zoo.

x

No one was sure where they should go, one with it being dark and two with them having never been anywhere other than their enclosures and the gym.

"Make a left," Mama's voice could be heard over the com, "And be quick about it."

Tony hurried off in the direction he was given, the others barely able to keep up with him.

After several horrible long turns and trick door along with several henchmen they found their items.

"Still a lot of people to tend to," Steve grabbed the shield, "Lets go."

Whoever this Jeremiah guy was he apparently had money to rival Tony with all the minions he had. And with each one knocked down another showed.

"Wish mom would give us some light," Nat commented, snapping a guy's arm.

"Avengers, get to the doors asap. We're leaving this place," Mama's voice called from the intercom.

They hurried to the exit as the building rattled, virtually running into Rhodes who was posted at the door, holding Fanboy by the collar.

"Mama!" Tony jumped onto him, nearly knocking the man over in his affectionate attack, "I missed you!"

"My baby!" he hugged him tight, kissing the top of his head, "My other children," he checked all the Avengers, "Is everyone ok?"

"Mama lion to the rescue," Steve smirked, "Is SHIELD with you?"

"They're landing now, we better get going," he hurried them off, "My suit and Sam are holding ground until they get here to make some arrest. Thankfully a chunk of guards were knocked out by the gas."

"Not a big chunk, apparently. Your suit is doing it by itself?" Clint rushed, "When did Tony set that up?"

Tony raised a brow, he didn't recall setting Mama's suit up like that at all.

"Don't worry about that," he dismissed, setting Tony down and dragging fanboy along.

"You can't take them! They're mine!" Jeremiah kicked and pushed at Rhodes' arm, "I found them!"

"You didn't find them, you lured them and kidnapped them with plans of holding them hostage!"

"I made them comfortable, fed them, and all the things they needed to live!" he glared, "They would've been happy!"

James gripped him tight, pulling him to look eye to eye, "They aren't pets. If a tiger is let loose from its cage, even if it had a plentiful captivity, will run."

The man narrowed his eyes, "Good thing I had planned for them not to get loose."

The mother just glared to him and sprayed him in his face with a can he'd had in his pocket. The mystery aerosol caused the man to gasp for merely a second before fainting.

"I'm above pistol whipping," he muttered as the helicarrier landed, "Finally."

Fury stepped down and looked about the area, "Well, I guess you had things under control."

"Might want to clean up the unconscious ones." James dropped the ko'd captor, "Had some help."

"Nothing wrong with getting a little help. Mutants, a friend and one of your own kids huh?" he smiled.

He shrugged, "Not working for the air force anymore so didn't have as many people to ask aid of this time around. But I think things went well."

"Ill have it duly noted not to f-k with mama," the director chuckled and pat his back, "Proud of you. Better get them home, I'll clean up the rest."

James smiled and tapped his walkie, "Come on to the jet," he told everyone.

x

"This is too small and you're leaking everywhere! This is why I hate pullups." Rhodey ranted as he got Tony's normal diapers out. He shook his head and wiped his kid's red area down, "And it's made of the dye you're allergic to…Great."

Bucky pulled away as Steve put a bandaid on his cheek, "Logan's leaking too."

"That's Hulk's issue, currently I'm changing your brother," he gripped Tony's shirt as he attempted to pull away from the rash cream.

"Thats his fault for not wearing the cover like I told him to," Vic shrugged.

"Shut it, know-it-all," Jimmy grumbled, as Hulk tugged what was left of his pants off to change him.

"Know I'm not the one leaking," Vic taunted, "The only one apparently," His brother reacted by slamming his fist into his brother's left butt cheek, "Ah! Mother f-cker!" he hissed, holding the area of impact and glaring to Logan.

"Watch your mouth," Steve scolded as he dabbed alcohol on Bucky's scrapes.

The younger smirked then looked to the green giant's unpleased gaze, "What? I didn't do anything. Someone's hitting people."

"Oh really?" Victor narrowed his eyes and kicked his brother in the thigh.

Logan gasped and instantly grabbed his leg, "Son of a b-tch!"

A still Hulked out Bruce had to physically hold them away from killing each other while the others snickered.


	38. Chapter 38

Rhodes walked through the high security jail, "Keep going."

"He stole the material and such he needed," Fury shrugged, "He is far from as rich as he portrayed himself. He basically had some money but not enough to be on Stark's level, let alone dwarf him. He took criminals and kept them out of jail in exchange for servitude.

"And was able to get into some enemies of Shield's. When they found that he planned on taking the Avengers out of commission they were more than happy to support him in his endeavor."

"And why wouldn't they be?" he glanced into the cell of the man as he set his action figures up, muttering to himself about how the collection was incomplete

"I think you have some work ahead of you," Fury smiled, "Back to your mom magazine and all."

"I have a lot to do first. Kids have been a whole week without mommy and that doesn't fair well for any of them mentally. Neither does being held captive for the same length of time."

"I think you need them as much as they need you. If not more."

"Not everyone is capable of loving and being loved from a distance," James looked to him, "You want to join us for dinner tonight? It's gonna be my death since I have to feed...everyone…"

He nodded and at him, "I think I might just join you for that."

"Good, we're eating at 7:30, so I'm going home to turn my fan on, grab my apron and be in my kitchen for four hours solid," he sighed and took his leave.

"Have a fun time."

"I won't," he sighed and hurried off, "And make no plans for next week. We're going swing dancing."

x

Bucky watched as mama cooked like mad, "Can I help?"

"Yeah, if your brother touches my stove again beat him," he glared to his headscarf wearing child.

Tony raised his hands and backed away, "I'm going to get you some more eggs from the fridge."

"What all are you making?" Buck leaned back to his mom.

Rhodes sighed, looking around, "Herbed garlic bread, twice baked potatoes, bacon wrapped potatoes, grits and greens, Chayote and Avocado Salad, aranici, And apple crumble with vanilla ice creep."

"Cream?"

"What?"

"You said 'ice creep'," Buck looked at the huge array, "Can I help?"

"Sure, cut the everything on that counter."

He smiled and took the knife, twirling it as he gazed to the veggies, herbs, and fruits.

"Can I help?" Tony looked to his mom.

Rhodes looked about the kitchen for something Tony Stark could succeed at, "Uhm..Yes. You know what you can do for mama?" he perked up, "Go to the store and buy two gallons of vanilla ice cream because I actually have none."

"Is that it?"

"Think you can handle that? And when you return I'll have something else for you to do."

He nodded and walked to the basement to check Bruce before going.

X

"Hey Brucie. Wanna trail me to the store?" he peeked in the room.

"Sure, someone needs to make sure you don't get distracted," he nodded with a smile.

"How are the feral brothers?"

"They'll be here tonight." He smiled, "They're rather excited to be fed by mama with how much Bucky goes on about it."

"Good, because they're in for a treat. He said we're having a movie night after this as well."

"I wonder how conscious he'll be after dinner."

"Not very. But we'll see."


	39. Chapter 39

"Food, food, food," Victor tapped his foot as he waited for his younger brother, "Any day."

"Relax, act like you never eat," Logan scoffed and pulled his shoes on, "Saving them from your dry strudel."

"You keep talking about my cooking and the only thing you'll be eating is my fist," he glared, "Tried to kill us with that fish you made last night."

"So I overcooked the trout. These new stoves are difficult to adapt to," he shrugged.

"Charred is more like it. Asides I made peanut butter and chocolate pies," he smirked

"Excuse me? I know you're not taking those out of this house," he raised a brow, "put those in the fridge and fry some chicken right quick."

"So you like my cooking now?"

"You know I like your cooking, you've just been skimping on the butter and lard lately," he rubbed against him affectionately.

"Stupid health craze is making it impossible to get lard or real butter. Miss when we worked on a farm." He rolled his eyes at his baby brother, "I already put you one in the fridge."

"Love you," he kissed Victor cheek before grabbing keys, "I'm driving."

"Fine, let's just go."

X

"Brought some collards and macaroni," Sam walked in with his large dishes, "That good enough?"

Steve shrugged, "I suppose. The lady of the house is getting changed right now. Wanted to thank you for helping us out of that prison."

"You don't expect me to sit idle while the Avengers are trapped, do you?" He smirked and sat his trays among the spread, "Now James knows how to show some appreciation."

"He's good at that," he grabbed some plates and continued setting up.

X

The group laughed over their meal as the director walked in.

"We don't have a mission, do we?" Clint tsked when he saw his boss.

"No, he's here to eat," James pointed to the kitchen, "Grab a plate, boss."

"Got a cookie platter since I'm no chef." He smiled and set it with the other desserts.

Fury sat on an empty space on the couch and looked about at the sizeable crowd, "No wonder you were so downcast about cooking."

"Not as if I don't already cook for a large crowd to start with," he shrugged.

"Why don't we have some party games?" Nat suggested with a smile.

"Truth or dare and spin the bottle?" Logan smirked.

"Truth or dare sounds fun," she shrugged, "What other games do people play at parties these days?"

"Cards and dominoes. At least at the ones I frequent," Sam smirked as him and James shared a knowing glance.

"There's always charades, two truths one lie," Rhodey had to rack his frazzled brain, "Oh, likes and dislikes. "

Bucky looked to the feral brothers with a smile.

Logan caught it, "What? Oh fine." He scurried to the car and returned with some games he'd bought earlier.

"Knew I could trust you," he smiled.

X

"Giant snake!"

"Movie with J lo!"

"Anaconda," Fury tilted the device as they all shouted hints at him. He had chosen animals.

"Come on, you guys can't let the director win," Sam marked the points down, "Your turn Bruce."

"He is apparently good with animals," Steve chuckled and sipped his wine.

They had been partying like this for at least two hours now and played 6 different games. Charades, this guessing game and several others.

X

"I truly enjoyed myself," Fury buttoned his coat, "I will have to take more time off and have a real life."

"Yeah," James covered a yawn, "Text me when you get in. I have to put my 'worn out' partyers to bed," he looked to the group still laughing at their game of twister.

"I'll be seeing you and them soon," he pat his shoulder before grabbing his plate and taking leave.

Rhodes happily strolled over to his group now that they're body pretzel game was done, "What did I miss?"

"Well Tony refuses to answer his truth," Nat commented.

"I asked for it rephrase in a comprehensible way," the genius marked.

"Have you ever peed while getting your diaper changed? Did you understand it that time?"

Before Tony could even make a retort everyone who had ever changed him scoffed and said some form of yes for him.

"What I was asking was did you mean in general or on someone?" he muttered under a blush.

"You've done both to me," Steve scoffed.

"Me too," Clint commented, "But boys tend to let it loose when the air hits 'it'." he ought to know

Tony blushed harder as he heard the mutants snickering at him, "Well excuse me for not being able to control it. How long have you two been in them?" he turned attention to the feral brothers.

"Mmm. 1908?" Logan looked to his elder.

"About that long," he shrugged, "But if you want our life story on that situation you'll have to wait for another time."


	40. Chapter 40

"You'd think they'd at least put the furniture in the proper places," Clint decorated his room.

Finally Tony's place was rebuilt. It was a bittersweet event. Now the Avengers were back in their own pad and out of Rhodey house, but that meant they were on their own as far as pampering and motherly affections until the next visit.

"Nothing wrong with having something to do," Steve set pictures around his room, "Happy we spent a lot of together time with Rhodey. But more happy to have my own room and bed."

"Tell me about it," the archer flopped onto the couch, "I'm still exhausted from dancing."

"I rather enjoyed myself. Not often I get to swing dance any more," Steve chuckled, "Thor really enjoyed himself."

"He almost gave poor Allison a heart attack."

x

" _Welcome home sir. How was your drive?"_

"Bucky is off on another adventure and I'm here with Steve and the others," he shrugged, "It was well enough."

" _Already missing your mother?"_

"Very much so. Maybe I'll make him move in over here for a while... Guess I'm back to sleeping on my own for now. "

" _There is always Mr. Rogers,"_ The AI suggested.

"You're right."

" _He's in his room sketching currently."_

"Thanks buddy. You're the best."

" _Thank you, sir. I try."_

X

Steve listened to the radio as he looked out the window. He was taken off guard by a sudden Tony leaning on his shoulder, "Welcome back. How was taking your brother's gift to Sam?"

Tony chuckled, "Priceless. He gave him a three month old puppy."

x

" _Hey, wait! What am I supposed to do with him?!" Sam chased Tony to his car with the Rottweiler pup in his arms._

" _Raise it I assume. Oh and it's a girl, her name is Rider."_

" _Saying I like dogs doesn't mean I wanted one right now!" Sam chucked his shoe at the car as Tony drove off._

 _x_

"...where did he get and hide that this whole time?"

"A friend, he said. Hold me?" he pouted.

Steve set his sketch pad aside and opened his arms for the man to curl up in, "Someone is being needy."

"I'm sleepy," he muttered, nestling into his surrogate daddy's neck.

"Then go on to sleep. I'll be your pillow until you see mommy again," he kissed his boy's forehead.

"The whole two weeks?"

The blond's brows furrowed, "What's he doing for two weeks?"

"He went on vacation with his big boob book club."

X

Kira sighed contently as the sun shined down on them, "Sydney was a great choice. The cold makes me sleepy."

"I feel a bit guilty leaving our families," Allison thanked the man for her drink.

"Our whats?" James sipped his umbrella drink.

X

"Oh…" the soldier hummed as he rocked Tony on his lap, "He deserves a vacation. And you deserve a nap."

"That I do," Tony slipped his 'ladies man' pacifier into his mouth and gave a relaxed heave.

Steve smiled and used him as a desk to continue drawing.

 **And this is the end of A Mother's Job. If you follow me on DeviantArt, Rie-Anessia, expect some illustrated scenes up soon. Thank you guys for sticking with me through this. I appreciate my fans and am mildly amused by my haters. I'll definitely post silly bonus chapter here and there, so feel free to suggest still, but the main story is over. I enjoyed this one a lot. Can't wait to get some motivation for something new! Kisses and cuddles. Rie.**


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